Disappointment and Me

Well, on a sort of side note to my tribute to Sara - who is one of my closest friends - I have decided to branch out and talk about why I don't like to talk about personal things, private things, and yet at the same time, really wish that I would call my best friends, or sisters just to talk about everything and nothing, or about a problem I'm having.
I actually figured out that I have this problem with revealing personal, private things about myself to those I really care about - whether it's cause I'm upset with them for some reason, or something I've done or not done, etc. And this all came to a head during the time of my marriage and divorce with Adam. I am desperately afraid to disappoint my family and friends. Deep down, I think, I really believe that I am not worthy to be part of their family cause I'm different and weird, or their friend - that if I do something disappointing, or make a big mistake, then I will be dumped. I have no clue why this is. I am a little better now, because of Kay and Sara and others support during my divorce even though I didn't really tell them about my marriage. Because they supported me without knowing the details I believed that disappointing as my divorce was, they still loved me, cared about my happiness, and in general, was unconditional in giving that love and support.
In some cases, my hopes that I would be supported without question failed. In that regard, my feelings of disappointing them = getting dumped, kinda came true. So I ended up telling those people less, and less. I do not want to tell them much about my life, or Nick, or my decisions, for fear that they will not 1 - like my decisions and 2 - hate me for it. Case in point - I am very far from writing my thesis - I have research material, I have the ability, but after last year, and the stress, for some reason, my motivation and my ability to sit down and study and write have diminished. I know some of it is lack of confidence. That came from Adam and the subsequent events with him and my family. The other is my wavering. I want my master's degree, but I want it for me, not for anyone else, and therefore I resist doing it until I'm sure it's for me and not just because my dad thinks I should finish or he helped pay, or people think it will be a waste.
Lately, I feel that this is the way life is - you make decisions, people support or not, you live your life, etc. But my growth in this area is stunted because I care so much about what my family thinks, regardless of my happiness, ideas, or thoughts. I stayed engaged (despite my misgivings and even giving back the ring once and ending the engagement) because I didn't want to disappoint anyone, because we'd already planned so much, and because I wasn't sure that it wasn't just nerves - I didn't feel that I could go to anyone, describe what i was feeling and getting support for the decision I wanted to make - to end it, because I could imagine that they would say it was just jitters.
I tried to stay with Adam, with all the hurt, stress, and bad and good times that entailed. I will not go into details. There were good times, but they got cancelled out. When I made my decision, I tried to go to the people I cared about. But he had gone there first, knowing that I can't bear to disappoint them, knowing they were big factors in my decisions and my life. I could no longer trust that they were there for me. I heard more advice about staying - and all of the things said were those I'd said. And all of them were exactly what Adam had said they would say. I felt trapped.
If it hadn't been for some very good friends -Kay, Sara, Nick, Autumn, my sisters Judy and Jackie - I might be still in that place, in danger, unhappy, trapped, and hurt. They didn't care what Adam said, they wanted to listen to me, even though I could barely describe it. So thanks for that people!
BUT...I disappointed so many others and still feel guilty, even though my decision was the best one I could make. My ways to go about it were disappointing, but I feel that things would have been better if I had had some local, hands-on support. And on that note I will ask one favor of those who know me and have been a part of my life: any pictures you have of me as a child or teenager, with any of you, with my family, with my mom, of just my mom, or my dad, or my family, could you send me some copies. I ran for my life from Adam and he destroyed my keepsakes and the things I kept to make sure I could remember. So, that's my Christmas wish - to get some of it back. And if you would like to write to Adam and yell on my behalf...I'll give you the number or address :-)

A Tribute to Sara

The other day I talked to my friend Sara, who is due with my surrogate niece in January. I realized that she is going to be a mom. Yes, I realize that women who are pregnant become them, but it didn't really hit home until I talked to her. And so I wanted to post about how great a mom she is going to be. Not a mother - mothers are the people who are supposed to be revered automatically, no matter how great a person she is. Anyone can be a mother - just get a girl pregnant, wait 9 months and voila!
But a mom is different. A mom is the one you come to when you are hurt; a mom is someone who will give you memories (and don't get all bent out of shape dads, I'm just focusing on stuff moms do, not one stuff dads don't do, the same stuff I"m talking about applies to dads as well, not fathers - those are priests and in my opinion, anyone who wants his children to call him father is someone I picture as being a patriarchal, sexist, religiously overbearing person who also uses a belt for discipline - I am of course over generalizing and losing sight of my point) anyway, a mom.
A mom is someone who helps you make a fort with blankets in the living room, buys you your first bra, tells you honestly about periods (I'm focusing on girls as Sara is having a girl) and giggles with you about your first crush. She is also the one who loves you, even when you yell at her to stay out of your life - because now you're a teenager. The one who resents the curfew she feels you need, but understands when you need to break it - prom! A real mom is someone who totally disapproves of your decisions -to have sex maybe, before you're married - but she'll help you get birth control; a real mom is one who will be there for you when your first boyfriend and you break up - with cookie dough. She is one who will punish you when she needs to, and explains why. And I could go on, and on.
And Sara is going to be a great mom! She's going to be a great mom for a lot of the reasons that some people will say she's not - she's going to work to help provide for her family - she can't stay at home. And that makes her a good mom, because it shows that she can face reality, and work hard, and do the things that she has to do - and she's not injuring her family based on ideas of what family is "supposed to be." She's going to be a part of a real family, in real life, with all the problems and uniqueness that is wonderful in life. She's going to teach her kids about tolerance toward other people - homosexuals, pro-choice people (hey, Sara still loves me, and I hope, sorta understands me on this issue). She will give her child all the good things about religion - the good feeling that going to church can give, because it's steady, a tradition that provides good memories (I hope) for later, because you can sing there, even if you may not fully believe the words. She will be the mom that may be tired from work, but will still play tea party, or Star Trek, or watch March of the Penguins. Sara will be a good mom not because her religions tells her she has to, to fulfill her marriage vows or to propogate for future church members, but because she wants to and loves kids. She is a good mom already because of the person she married, one who is also tolerant, and loving, and cares about people. So, a tribute to Sara, who is going to be a great mom in a month or so, due dates being the inexact science that they are. I love you!

Meet Sophie

Meet Sophie, our new kitten! Isn't she adorable!? So far, Leo likes her and Casper is unsure. We'll have to wait and see how they all get along. But I'm optimistic. She's very curious and explores everything.


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Books

Well, I figured it was time for an update, one that doesn't have a very controversial topic. At least, I hope not. It's about books. I have been crazy lately, buying books: romance, fiction, literature (like the classics, such as King Solomon's Mine) and current events. I have been reading satire, Harlequin, drama, and mystery. This is of course, in between my insane schedule at work - every weekend. 8 hour days. On my feet. Smiling. For 8 hours. It's impossible to smile for 8 hours, continuously. Eventually, you have to just frown at something. But the babies are cute. Anyway, what are you all reading? Anything? Everything? Any good, new authors that you just have to tell someone about?

WAHOO!!!

Yes! I am so excited! I know that the Democrat Controlled House and Senate (well, after recounts) won't make immediate changes but I am so excited to now that I voted and voter turnout was up (at least here) and we all want change. Some kind of change - whether in Iraq, or about stem cell research (way to go Missouri!) or abortion or whatever. Democrats have, to me at least, proven that they are the party of the people - the people wanted them. Even Jim Ryun in Kansas lost. And now the first woman Speaker of the House! Can you hear my heart racing with excitement! Okay anyway. Good job voters, even those of you who voted against the Dems, voting is awesome.


I know some of my readers will disagree with my enthusiasm. But, I just can't help it. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! South Dakota has repealed the abortion ban! They repealed it! They repealed it! Women will remain in control.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE November 7, 2006
South Dakotans Stand Up for Freedom and Privacy, Repeal Divisive Abortion Ban

Vote in conservative stronghold a major defeat for anti-choice groups

Washington, DC –Nancy Keenan, president of NARAL Pro-Choice America, and Casey Murschel, executive director of NARAL Pro-Choice South Dakota, praised South Dakota voters' rejection of Referred Law 6, a near total ban on abortion.

"Tonight's victory belongs to the people of South Dakota who fought back against this political intrusion into personal, private decisions," Keenan said. "South Dakotans reaffirmed that the right to choose should be between a woman, her doctor, her family, and her God—not legislators or Gov. Mike Rounds. This result is a triumph for the fundamental values of freedom and privacy over divisive attacks against a woman's right to choose. This is a wake-up call to lawmakers in other states that America's pro-choice majority will not allow an assault on Roe v. Wade to go unanswered."

Murschel, a Republican legislator who led opposition to the ban, said, "Now, it is time for the same South Dakotans—Republicans, Democrats, and Independents—who defeated this ban to call on legislators and the governor to end these attacks and unify behind commonsense ways to prevent unintended pregnancy and reduce the need for abortion, without threatening women's health or jeopardizing access to safe, legal abortion."

The victory in South Dakota represents part of NARAL Pro-Choice America's comprehensive $2.5 million political program that contributed to this ballot measure in South Dakota and congressional races across the country. NARAL Pro-Choice America joined its state affiliate, NARAL Pro-Choice South Dakota as early leaders in a state-based coalition formed to fight this ban, providing significant financial and organizational resources and mobilizing a network of nearly 1,000 activists in the state. Further, NARAL Pro-Choice South Dakota invited Keenan to the state, where she met with pro-choice leaders and offered considerable support early on in the effort to place this measure on the ballot.

Contact:
Ted Miller, 202.973.3032

VOTE!

Alright people! On Tuesday I expect all of you to get your butts to the polls and vote. Vote Democrat! Vote Pro-choice! Vote Republican! Vote Pro-Life! Vote Independent! Vote Nazism! (Okay, maybe not) but get out there and vote. The polls open at 7 and close at 8, at least here in Iowa they do, so go early, before work or school. Or go later, after work or school. Or go during your lunch break. Just get out there and vote and make the United States one of those countries that has a high voting record - I mean, even Iran and Iraq has better voter turnout! So get out there and yell at those politicians. Tell them they have to listen to us! Vote! Vote! Vote!

Oh, yeah, personal endorsement - vote Democrat and pro-choice. Get those Republicans out of Congress and out of our private health decisions.

If I Had A Billion Dollars

I have been thinking lately of money. Well, a lot of it has been my lack of money, but sometimes I think of what I would do if I had plenty of money and didn't need to worry about how I'm going to pay for basic necessities. So, I've compiled a list. There is really no end to what I would like to do, but these are some of my top picks.

Drum Roll please (not that anyone actually cares about this list, though I'd love to read yours)

1. I would have accounts made for each of my nieces and nephews so that when they turn 18 they can go to the college of their choice (provided they're accepted of course) OR if they prefer to wait for college, they can volunteer at something like the Peace Corps and have that money waiting for them, able to withdraw it at will.

2. I would give some subscribed amount: $25,000 maybe to Planned Parenthood, NARAL Pro-Choice, NOW, and Ms. magazine.

3. I would donate $50,000 to WSU for History scholarships and/or a history student's grant. I would allocate some of that money for book buying related to the social sciences to the WSU library.

4. I would give $75,000 to a therapy program for rape victims - they heal by swimming with dolphins!

5.I would start a new charity that builds houses for the poor and fixes up houses that are in urban areas - sort of Habitat for Humanity and Urban Renewal combined. These would be available to those who applied.

6. I would donate $150,000 to a fund for poor women to gain abortion and birth control. With the huge amount of money I am imagining I have, this would be renewed every year.

7. Okay, I have to get a bit selfish now. I would buy my dream house. Nothing necessarily huge or anything, but with everything I would want: a library, a large kitchen, fireplaces, a solarium or sun room, etc.

8. Hey, I said I was going to be selfish: a vacation home on the Atlantic coast, preferably Maine. It wouldn't be huge at all, just a 2 bedroom cabin type, right on the beach, with a huge fireplace and bookshelves everywhere.

9. A fund for open and honest sex education for any school or clinic that applies and international clinics as well, including AIDS education and prevention, and free birth control: maybe around $25,000 each or so? Stop the Vatican and Bush from the gag-rule and imposing their values on people that can't afford to go somewhere else for another opinion.

10. Another selfish thing: Books. I would buy every book I ever wanted; on my wish list from Amazon, whenver I found one I liked in any bookstore I went to. No end to buying of books (this is why I need a library).

11. A Toyota Prius and a Honda Element. Both are good cars...if the Element becomes a Hybrid that would make it even better.

Okay, I think I would consider these my top 11 or something. But again, I could come up with many more. Some are selfish, others not so much. I would love to hear about your lists if you have them.

Update

Following in the footsteps of my good friend Sara, I have decided to give you all an update on my life. Please don't snore too loudly. This past weekend I traveled the eight hours down to Wichita and attended a wedding for my BF Nick's friends. A Catholic wedding, no less - meaning a lot longer than any other type. It felt weird to be in the church, but kinda neat because the priest that married the couple also married my brother and sister-in-law. Sometimes it's a small world. I did notice though that the vows still seem rather sexist to me: the groom promises to be faithful and to be a good father (no mention of being a good husband, I guess as long as he is a good dad and provider he can beat his wife or something.) The bride promises to be faithful as well, but to also be a good wife, AND mother. I feel sorry for those women who make this vow and then find out that they can't have children. Or don't want them - as it seems that the Catholic Church insists on having more members brought in from birth, and therefore you are not a good Catholic if you don't automatically desire children. But I digress into my cynicism and I apologize. This is for a later blog topic. I spent Saturday meeting my stepmother's family - her mother turned 90 and all of her kids came for the party and to visit. It was nice, though a bit long. Lots of good food and cute kids. I got to hold a baby! Trying to practice so I won't forget when Sara and Brad have little Kathleen and I get to hold her :-)I got to see my niece and nephews which was great, though way too short - my sister-in-law had the flu so I didn't spend a lot of time there; plus, my brother had just gotten back from a 2-week long work time in St. Louis - the kids hadn't seen him for a long time. But I did get to see their costumes. Dad and I got a chance to talk a bit. He's doing good, the house looks great and I can't wait until Christmas. Nick and I ate at Bella Luna, which is one of the restaurants we've been missing. Yum! I'm hungry just thinking about their menu. And then Sunday we headed back to Iowa - only to run into a good school friend of ours who was ALSO heading back to Iowa (thought a different city) and we stopped at Matfield Green and just chatted a bit. Quite fun! Oh, and Angie - thanks again for the squirrel! Today I spent the day running errands, doing laundry, and I actually got a good jog in also. It's nice to be home, no matter how much I miss my family. I guess that's pretty much it.

Friendship

I was thinking for the past couple of days about my group of friends from high school. Occasionally, we've talked about the so-called "popular crowd," who I think we all agreed were really only popular in their heads - really they were the party clique, the snobby clique, what have you. I think if any one in our group was popular it was Nathan B. Felix. He was truly universally liked. So kudos to you, Fe, cause you deserved it. But I was wondering a bit today why it is I am so much closer to certain friends from High School than others. Doubtless, some of it has to do with personality, sense of humor, shared characteristics, etc. But I have noticed that while I was close to a lot of these friends - at least I considered us close - in High School, I have become closer to some and have moved farther away from others. Do any of you find yourselves wondering what differences between your friends came between you? In response to an email I sent yesterday to a friend whom I considered myself to be close to in high school I have been thinking of these things even more. I had attempted to try to open up a discussion and re-forge some closeness. It didn't happen, perhaps because it can't happen anymore, or because I or that other person has changed too much to allow us to open up discussion and become close again. I know why I pulled away, but I do not know if I did anything to this person to make them pull away. In any case, I was disappointed that my attempt failed and that it was mistaken for something else. This is my fault, perhaps, because of what I wrote - how I wrote it, more precisely. Anyway, I would like some thoughts on this subject. Which friends are you still close to? Why? What changed? How have you changed? How have they changed?
On another note. I have been thinking as well that I have really focused a lot on abortion and religion.This is in response as well, to an old friend. But I would really like to get your input on some topics about me that all of you may be interested in hearing.

One and all, religions have their original prophets, their sacred books, their traditions of ages gone. One and all require us to accept without question what other people long dead have said or written; to obey without question the commands of those behind us.... No matter what the belief, if it had modestly said, "This is our best thought, go on, think farther!" then we could have smoothly outgrown our early errors and long since have developed a religion such as would have kept pace with an advancing world. But we were made to believe and not allowed to think. We were told to obey, rather than to experiment and investigate.

Research and News

Not that any amount of research will actually get someone hell-bent on forcing women to complete their pregnancies to stop saying there is a connection. But I thought I'd post it anyway. And for those of you who are pro-life but actually keep an open mind, a non-judgemental attitude, and reasons for being against abortion OTHER than religious zeal, as well as some compassion, like Sara, that rather short statement above is not for you.

Back to Story - Help
Abortion does not increase breast cancer risk Mon Oct 16, 7:27 PM ET



Abortion does not affect the risk of breast cancer, according to study findings published in the International Journal of Cancer.

"It is well established that pregnancies that end in a full-term birth ultimately confer a protective effect on breast cancer risk," Dr. Gillian K. Reeves, of the University of Oxford, UK, and colleagues write. "The effect of incomplete pregnancies on the risk of breast cancer has been less clear."

The researchers therefore examined the role of abortion on breast cancer risk among 267,361 women enrolled in the European Prospective Investigation into Cancer and Nutrition between 1992 and 2000. The data came from 20 centers across nine countries.

The women were followed for an average of 6.6 years. A total of 4805 women were diagnosed with breast cancer during follow-up. The researchers included all pregnancies that ended prior to 20 weeks or the stage of viability - spontaneous abortions (also referred to as miscarriage) and therapeutic or induced abortions.

"Overall, almost two thirds of women reported never having had any type of abortion, while about one third reported having had at least one type of abortion," Reeves and colleagues report.

Approximately 20 percent reported having a spontaneous abortion compared with about 16 percent who reported having an induced abortion. Only 3.8 percent of women reported having both types of abortion.

Having one spontaneous abortion did not affect the risk of breast cancer and having two or more spontaneous abortions only slightly increased the risk. No evidence of a relationship between one or more induced abortions and breast cancer was found.

"Overall, the findings provide further unbiased evidence of the lack of an adverse effect of induced abortion on breast cancer risk," the team concludes.

SOURCE: International Journal of Cancer, October 1, 2006.




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The Future Home of James T. Kirk

Yesterday, Nick and I headed to Kalona, Iowa because we'd heard that it's a big quilting town and I have been a little obsessed lately with finding a quilt similar, if not exactly like!, the one that my mom gave me years ago. Somehow, when she died and all the stuff was organized (which guiltily and sadly I didn't help with; some of that was because of major pain but I still should have helped!)it disappeared and I haven't figured out where it went. Maybe one of my aunts has it or something, so at least it's still in the family. Anyway, I digress. We drove through the town of Riverside and there it was. A sign proclaiming that it was the Future Home of James T. Kirk. I was so excited because even though I really don't like the original episodes of Star Trek or James T. Kirk, it was still a small string of connection to my Trekkie roots. For those of you who didn't know me in 7th-12th grade, and okay, beyond! I am a trekkie! I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation, and Voyager, and I well, I still have stories, etc. that I am involved with...it was a whole thing with me. So I was excited to see the future right here in Iowa - even if I didn't like the Star Trek captain in question, and wished that it were a sign in a small little wine-producing village in France and proclaiming instead, "Future Home of Captain Jean-Luc Picard"- It was exciting.

I just finished reading a memoir by Julia Scheeres: Jesus Land. It was yet another reason I'm glad that I look at organized religion - especially Christianity - with a rather cynical eye. Her life was so sad; so incredibly unfair. I will not say that it was all caused by Christianity itself - that's just wrong. But most of her unhappiness and misery was caused by good "Christians," trying to "save her soul" and indoctrinate her on their views, despite her own. And, of course, being hypocritical and bigoted and mean about it. All of course, supported by the Bible. Supported at least, by their interpretation - because that's all the book can become in life is interpretation. Which is why I don't understand why people would choose to live "as the Bible says." Please. Sometimes I wonder if rational thought is even possible at that point. It certainly seems to be suspended whenever people start talking about god, or the Bible, or Jesus. They're as high on that as drugs - and it leads to some nasty behavior. Which is of course, sanctioned by the Bible. I just don't understand. Of course, the aftermath of reading a memoir like this is to heighten and intensify by utter bewilderment and cynicism and sheer gratitude that I'm NOT like them, that I may very well fall into the trap of labeling all people who claim to be Christian as mean, bigoted, horrible, hypocritical people. I know some Christians that are...and some (though they seem to be more of the secular Christians) are the best people around. Of course, the best people I've met, sadly for those of you who are that high on god type of Christian, aren't Christian at all. Food for thought isn't it? I guess adhering to the idea that just adhering to one book for one way of life is maybe, not the best policy to live a good life and be kind to others, etc. Just food for thought..mine anyway.

Just me

Sadly, I had to work; but I wanted to go to several - there were something like 10 held here or near hear (Iowa City/Coralville) and if I'd had the space I would have been a hostess too. But I applaud those who were able to attend and/or hold one. Good Luck South Dakota!

Activists Across the Nation Hold Potluck Fundraisers to Fight South Dakota Abortion Ban

Planned Parenthood Supporters Join Together to Combat Attacks on Women’s Health and Safety

Washington, DC — This weekend (Sept. 29–Oct.1) pro-choice activists across the United States, as well as in Kenya and Tunisia, will hold potluck fundraisers to fight South Dakota’s abortion ban. The potlucks, organized by Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA), have touched a chord with people across the nation. To date, people determined to protect women’s health and safety have organized more than 300 potluck events in 38 states — from Belfast, ME, to Davenport, IA, to Arcata, CA. Potluck themes range from turkey fries to luaus, with events being held in churches and synagogues, backyards, parks, homes and sororities. Similar fundraisers are also being held to oppose anti-choice initiatives in California and Oregon.
“There has been a groundswell of support across the nation in reaction to this draconian measure, which would set women’s health back 33 years to the pre-Roe era,” said Stephenie Foster, PPFA vice president for public policy. “There could be no greater indication of how close we are to losing rights that many of us have come to take for granted than the ban passed in South Dakota.”

A statewide referendum to be held on November 7 will determine whether or not the law goes into effect. The ban — a blatant challenge to Roe v. Wade — would strip women in South Dakota of their constitutional right to determine if and when to bear children. It affects virtually all women seeking an abortion, with the sole exception of cases in which the woman will die if forced to continue the pregnancy.

To find out more about Potlucks for South Dakota, go to StandUpSD.com.

###
Planned Parenthood Federation of America is the nation's leading sexual and reproductive health care advocate and provider. We believe that everyone has the right to choose when or whether to have a child, and that every child should be wanted and loved. Planned Parenthood affiliates operate more than 860 health centers nationwide, providing medical services and sexuality education for millions of women, men, and teenagers each year. We also work with allies worldwide to ensure that all women and men have the right and the means to meet their sexual and reproductive health care needs.

Prejudice and Bigotry

I just took a survey about prejudice and bigotry and it got me thinking: what areas in the United States and around the world need work? What is the most prevalent prejudice or bigotry? For example, I was torn between the idea that hetero-sexism and sexism in general, are the areas of prejudice that are still the most prevalent. But most people, in the results area of the survey, answered that it was racism. And I know that racism is still very prevalent, but I tend to think of it as a more regional thing, rather than a world-wide, nation-wide thing. So, I want your thoughts, your discussions, your vague ideas. What prejudice is most prevalent? Why? In what ways are you prejudiced, or bigoted, or just have cynical ideas? For example, I tend to be very cynical and look down on relions and people who are extremely devout in religions - any religion, but especially Catholicism. That is based on personal experience, and I try every day to fight it, but I very often fail - though happily, I sometimes succeed. My cynicism and skepticism is based on experience though, not a pre-judgment. So does it count as a prejudice against that religion? I try to keep an open mind about it, but I tend to find it alien? Anyway, just an example using me as a whipping-girl. Please, feel free to add.

Computer Illiteracy

Because I am computer illiterate the survey I wanted to post on my blog has posted in a weird spot - specifically at the bottom; the way bottom - no farther than that! Okay..anyway, if you want to read it, go there. Sorry for the stupidity - Felix where are you when I need you to explain this to me?!?!

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! I turn twenty-six today! Yay! Sort of. Shut up all of you who are younger than me and will, as my dad put it, are not on the short side of thirty. Or something to that effect. Nick took me out to dinner and a movie on Friday to celebrate because I have to work all this weekend - including today. And he's surprised me with books from my Amazon wishlist. And he's making me breakfast - isn't he sweet!? Anyway, wanted to brag a little bit. That's pretty much my post; just celebrating me for a day.

A Rant about Religion Based Off of Exhaustion and Frustration

For some reason I have been in a somewhat anti-religion state of mind. Perhaps it is the attack on Harry Potter. Perhaps it is the idea that a religion can take away my autonomy of action and thought - a pharmacist can decide for me that birth control is wrong; the Pope and 200 other men in Rome know better than me about whether I can support a baby, handle having and caring for one; that they can decide about something so personal and inherent to MY body and MY life based on a patriarchal tradition and a dogma that's not even based on biblical references. Perhaps it is because a sexist patriarchal religion such as Catholicism can dictate to a woman what her vocation can be -even if she knows that her god wants her to be, she can't because of sexism 2,000 years ago declared it to be so. Perhaps hearing about the Mormon religion's new bout with selling young girls into polygamous marriages - based on the bible and tradition (just like Catholicism, I don't know why they're not following it?)But I rant and rave, and next week I will be attempting to succeed at my Wiccan Rede and Calling the Corners, hoping to get a blessing from the goddess and god and thinking about how Jesus was a great guy and all. Anyway, I found this funny quote/joke. Thought I'd post it. Please bear with my rant. I only slept about 4 hours last night and worked since 7 this morning. I'm exhausted.

Atheist: n, A person to be pitied in that he is unable to believe things for which there is no evidence, and who has thus deprived himself of a convenient means of feeling superior to others.
—Chaz Bufe, The American Heretic’s Dictionary

Must be Jealousy

It must be jealousy at work here - Potter is more popular than the Roman Catholic Church, perhaps?

POPE'S TOP EXORCIST SAYS HARRY POTTER IS 'KING OF DARKNESS'
WebPosted Sun, 03 Sep 2006 14:16:40

---Pope Benedict XVI's chief exorcist, Rev. Gabriele Amorth, has
called fictional wizard-in-training Harry Potter the "king of
darkness, the devil."

Amorth made the statement about the star of the best-selling children's
series by British author J. K. Rowling during an interview with Vatican
Radio during the week.

"Magic is always a turn to the devil," said the Roman Catholic priest,
according to Britain's Daily Mail newspaper.

Amorth, who is also the president of the International Association of
Exorcists, said the series contains many positive references to "the
satanic art" of magic and makes no distinction between black and
white magic.

The Harry Potter series has sold more than 300 million copies worldwide
and four of the books have been made into films.

Rowling has revealed that two main characters will die in the seventh and
last instalment, due to be published soon. It's expected to include a
showdown between the teen wizard and his malevolent nemesis, Lord
Voldemort.

"A price has to be paid, we are dealing with pure evil here," Rowling
said during a British chat show interview.

Amorth compared the Potter character to dictators Stalin and Hitler,
saying they were possessed by the devil.

"You can tell by their behavior and their actions, from the horrors they
committed and the atrocities that were committed on their orders. That's
why we need to defend society from demons," said Amorth, who has
reportedly performed 30,000 exorcisms.

Pope also slammed Potter

Amorth's criticisms of Potter weren't the first to emerge from
the Catholic Church, which has never been a fan of the series.

Benedict voiced his disapproval of the character and series before he
became Pope in April 2005.

Then Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany, he wrote a supportive letter
in 2005 to the author of a book Harry Potter - Good or Evil? In it,
sociologist Gabriele Kuby had argued that Harry Potter series distorts
young people's ideas about the battle of good versus evil.

"It is good that you enlighten people about Harry Potter because those
are subtle seductions, which act unnoticed and by this deeply distort
Christianity in the soul before it can grow properly," Ratzinger told
Kuby in his letter.

Copyright (C) 2006 CBC. All rights reserved.

Something that will annoy people and may get me shot

Okay, this list was one I thought quite hilarious. So far, things are going good here. My dad sold my car and so I will be getting some money to go into a savings account soon - I always feel better when I have some money in savings, just in case. My niece liked her birthday present. My dad is retiring and sounds so excited about it and healthier..probably from that stressful weight of working for Stonhard lifting. I have actually gotten some notes done for my thesis - nothing substantial yet, but at least it is progress. And people have complimented my for defending my viewpoints about certain sticky issues, which I like because even if they do or don't agree with me, at least they're open-minded enough to say, yeah she has a point or at least maybe, yeah, she's defending her ideas in a good way, not in some fanatical, anti-science, anti-religion, etc. way. Okay, the list. While I thought it was funny, and had some points, others won't. I am not meaning to offend, but some people may see it as anti-religious.


Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

Date: 2006-06-02, 1:10PM MST



10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Just loving sarcasm

Things Republicans Believe: A truthful and sarcastic list

1. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is a solid defense policy

2. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

3. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

4. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s and John Kerry did in the 1970s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

5. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

6. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

7. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

8. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

9. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

10. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

11. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

12. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

13. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.