Tuesday, February 28, 2006


Last night, my new guy Nick finally got the letter accepting him to the University of Iowa's MLS program. I am so excited! U of Iowa has a great History PhD Program as well - I was planning on applying for the fall of 2007. I am also applying for next fall's semester to get my Certificate in Native American Studies. So things are looking up! Iowa City is right near the river, there are great places to run, and it's a great college town! Plus, it's only about an hour and a half from my older sister's place - I will be able to see my youngest niece more! It feels that my life is finally starting to go where I want it. Yay!

Monday, February 27, 2006

Life in General

Sorry for the boring title. A lot has happened in my life lately: I can't believe so much stress can happen in a day or two...even though I've experienced this before. For example:
1. I went on Saturday to get my things, as per judge's orders in the divorce papers. By peeking in the locked house, I saw quite a few of my things missing. This does not bode well.
2. My ex husband did not show up, despite a letter from my lawyer, numerous emails from me and phone calls that day. The police who were there to make sure he did not pull another gun and shoot someone were not happy. They put it on record that he is in violation of the court order. That is a fairly good thing for me I suppose, in the long run. But I would much rather have things be over.
3. My dad called and asked me and my new boyfriend - really new - over for dinner. This is nice and also very nerve-racking. I have never been nervous about this kind of thing but I am now. I really like this guy, ALOT!!! And do not want to scare anyone.
4. I have found out that I have some supportive members of my family (my sisters and my dad especially now) and extremely great friends: three close friends from high school called me and sympathized, and college friends were there to help me move, to hug me a lot, and Nick dealt with my crazy sobbing and up and down emotions - anger, frustration, sadness, etc. and is still dealing with it.
5. I feel like the dumbest person in the world because I married this guy, and while I chalk it up to life experience, and I think the feeling will dissipate, I still feel that way.
I am really enjoying my blog and the comments I am getting. Thanks for all the fun and supportive comments people.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

My Ex Sucks

I am attempting to move out my possessions today, the ones that are guaranteed by the divorce papers. My ex-husband is trying to blow smoke and says that he will be there, his dad will, no one will...the possessions aren't mine, and also that he threw away, burned, or destroyed them. I have a police officer going with me so he can't pull another gun on me and actually shoot me this time. I have supportive friends cheering me on from emails, phone calls, or helping me move. But I am still stressed and am glad I have the divorce completed. I keep telling myself that possessions really don't matter - I got my cat and I am not shot and my friends still care about me, etc. But I am also really wanting to cry if all my collection stuff is gone (like the dolphin my mom gave me on the last birthday I had before she died) or my collection of notes and cards I got from family, friends, etc. My diplomas, my books...Exes suck, although I realize not everyone has my vindictive one. I am rambling. Thanks for the support all of you!

Friday, February 24, 2006


Today, I sat through a whole lot of documentaries, hoping that the kids would nail it and I could be all, wow, they're only in sixth grade? I wasn't thinking about that until college. Unfortunately, those were few and far between. However, what was produced was absolutely cool. At least it got kids thinking about history, and who has taken a stand within history and what impact that made on us. I am seriously thinking of getting a teaching degree merely to help kids do well on history day. I don't know how well I would do of course, because I am only thinking of the fun parts of teaching. It's just amazing though, how creative kids can be and I just wanted to get that point across and basically give all kids some props for being so courageous in whatever they try to do.
I am a judge at the local History Day competition for middle school and high school students. It should be a fun day. But what is really panicking me, and I think this happens alot, sort of the definition of Murphy's Law, was that this morning, while I'm rushing to brush me hair, my teeth, put my makeup on, etc. I realize I do not have my judging packet. This would not be such a big deal except it has instructions on judging, where to go, etc. I thought I had it organized, found I did not and now want to cry. This seems to happen about 40% of the time in my life, where things all seem to be going good, I'm on time, and then WHAM! something is not where I think I put it. So now I am wondering where it is, if I have enough time between my class and the judging to go back and find it, if I left it in my office, etc. It has been stressful and it's only 8! How sad on what could turn out to be a very fun day!

Thursday, February 23, 2006


In the interests of others who are not as involved in the ongoing debate about abortion or do not want to get involved, here's a new subject. I have been thinking a lot about how people are influenced in their lives. What makes a person a Methodist for example? Was it family, parents, influences in college, etc.? A combination seems fairly logical, but are there people who only go to church to "keep up with the neighbors?" How much do we really decide by ourselves, without a tinge of experiences or childhood pressures?

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


My post on which pro-choice group to join had rather interesting comments. Since the responses I got were more along the pro-life/anti-choice variety, of which I knew many of my friends are believers, I figured that responsed would probably be very vehement and angry. I actually have no problem donating money to these groups because I believe that a woman has the right to choose - and I am not as pr-abortion as some. But I do believe that many (not all) pro-life groups ignore reality, fight only for life before it's born, or use their anti-choice beliefs to punish people for having sex. I also believe that birth control and abortion are ways to ensure that women are as "lucky" as men - through these health decisions women are on the same footing as men who are free to walk away from an unplanned pregnancy, a rape, an incestuous situation, etc. I also believe that an abortion is not used as birth control by the women who use it. I am sure there are exceptions, but this is a hard choice and must be made privately, with a doctor. I don't think a woman should be forced to have a baby. And both of these organizations do help women get sexual advice, information, and birth control to prevent abortions - because I don't think anyone actually LIKES abortion. I also know that they also provide information on adoption services and aid for those who don't want an abortion, as well as health information for both men and women, including how to stay healthy during a pregnancy - for those women who can't afford health insurance or an obstetrician.
So, I am stressing about my thesis topic. I have to research archival materials to find a topic, and then research the topic in order to thoroughly write my thesis. So far, I have it narrowed down to Native American history during the Gilded Age (1864-1910). This has stumped my advisors, who expect a much narrower object - like an actual topic or something I guess. I sometimes wonder if I will graduate in time to go to the school I want. Ahh, the stress of graduate school. At least I will be able be a snobby PhD recipient so I can brag.
So, I am comtemplating whether I want to join Planned Parenthood, Naral Pro-Choice, or both. Both are proponents of thorough sex education in schools, rather than just abstinence only. Both support a woman's right to choose or not, both give the facts about what to do if you don't want an abortion and how they can help. I guess it will just come down to something insanely mundane, like who requires more membership fees or or is more politically active. I will update later with my decision.
Well, I've begun a new adventure in life. The adventure that is blogging. I just hope I am up to it.