Sorry for the boring title. A lot has happened in my life lately: I can't believe so much stress can happen in a day or two...even though I've experienced this before. For example:
1. I went on Saturday to get my things, as per judge's orders in the divorce papers. By peeking in the locked house, I saw quite a few of my things missing. This does not bode well.
2. My ex husband did not show up, despite a letter from my lawyer, numerous emails from me and phone calls that day. The police who were there to make sure he did not pull another gun and shoot someone were not happy. They put it on record that he is in violation of the court order. That is a fairly good thing for me I suppose, in the long run. But I would much rather have things be over.
3. My dad called and asked me and my new boyfriend - really new - over for dinner. This is nice and also very nerve-racking. I have never been nervous about this kind of thing but I am now. I really like this guy, ALOT!!! And do not want to scare anyone.
4. I have found out that I have some supportive members of my family (my sisters and my dad especially now) and extremely great friends: three close friends from high school called me and sympathized, and college friends were there to help me move, to hug me a lot, and Nick dealt with my crazy sobbing and up and down emotions - anger, frustration, sadness, etc. and is still dealing with it.
5. I feel like the dumbest person in the world because I married this guy, and while I chalk it up to life experience, and I think the feeling will dissipate, I still feel that way.
I am really enjoying my blog and the comments I am getting. Thanks for all the fun and supportive comments people.
5 comments:
Let's start with #5. Regret is fine, but feeling stupid is not allowed. We all feel like we should have known better. The good news is you found out before it got worse. He pulled a BLOORTing gun on you, there's no telling what he would have done if you stayed any longer.
3. Don't panic about the folks meeting the new beau. Just panic when you introduce him to me :)
4. It's good to know who you can count on in times like these. In essence you find out exactly who you can count on during a trauma/crisis. And the crying & emotions.. they dwindle.
Thanks very much for that. I am of course feeling regret more and more, and stupid less and less. I think common sense gets lost in the emotions though. And the new beau is great, I will try not to panic about anything.
The New Beau will definitely help speed the healing process up, as you won't be sitting by yourself thinking of what went wrong.
The way I survived was to look at it as a learning (albeit painful) experience. I do hatefully have to admit I learned some not so happy things about my personality that my ex wife was oh so happy to point out at every goddamn opportunity.... sorry...
but nevertheless I learned that I didn't like that about me, and so I sought to alter it. I also found that I'm a stronger person than I give credit for.
Don't Panic: Always have a towel
I agree. Towels are essential.
Yay for towels!
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