Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Alice: Two Months

Dear Alice,

Today you are two months old. According to the doctor's office however, we have to wait until March 3 for it to be official. But 2 months ago, on a Tuesday morning, you were born.

In the last month you've already changed so much! You've gone from this skinny little newborn to this adorable little girl with chubby cheeks and elbows with dimples. You are digging the breastmilk and it shows!

I can't wait to find out more about your personality, but a couple of weeks ago you smiled at me and it was a full on grin! So now, I try to make you smile all the time. It's kind of hard, because I also want to get that gorgeous smile in a photo but you ARE NOT HAVING IT! You'll smile at me, at daddy, at your birds on your swing's mobile, but never at the camera. Maybe you're shy? Or you're like me and don't like your pictures no matter how good they are? (And really, how bad could they be at 2 months - you're adorable!). Anyway, I was so happy to see you smile up at me, this gummy grin that shows you know who I am and that you're glad to see me. It just makes my day. Sometimes, when I'm trying for the umpteenth time to put you down for a nap, and you are having none of it, because you want me to hold you, you'll look up at me from the bassinet and just grin, and I have to laugh because even though I know you're not trying to bribe me, it feels like it and I want to give in, because your smiles are like crack!

I can't seem to stop kissing you and neither can your daddy. I'm sure you wonder what the heck we're doing but we just can't seem to help it. I want you to know I love you and I hope that kissing you conveys that, cause wow, what a simple way to say it! I'd gladly do it a million times if that's what it takes. Because I adore you. You're finally starting to calm down and like daddy a little bit more - for awhile there it seemed like you only preferred me. But hey - I have the food, so it's only natural at this stage, because you're still tiny.

Sleeping has hit a rough patch. I posted a couple weeks ago that we'd put you down and you fell asleep by yourself and stayed asleep for like three hours. But then, I think you hit a growth spurt and sleeping went out the window. It almost seems like you're in pain (and we're totally talking to the doctor about that) sometimes and we worry. But it's gotten a little bit better. You don't want to nap unless you're sleeping on me, and because you are so exhausted I gave in for awhile. But now, I'm trying to wean you off of that. I am only slightly successful. At night, you have to be swaddled so you don't wake yourself up still, but you HATE it and scream until we let your arms out. But when you do sleep, it's adorable. You laugh in your sleep, and I can't wait to hear it when you're awake! And you sleep just like your daddy does, which is so cute and funny. Soon, you'll be sleeping (I hope) in your big-girl crib, not the bassinet next to me, and I know I'll miss having you close enough to touch. I've slept with you right next to me since you were born, and it's going to be weird to think you are independent enough to sleep farther away (but still in our room).

You've gone to the zoo and the art museum, and even for a walk in your stroller at the nature center, but so far I haven't managed to get you to the library where mommy works (see above: Not Sleeping). But I will. I'm already dreading going back to work, even part-time. I will miss you and worry about how you're doing with daddy and whether you fell asleep or are missing me. But right now I'm just savoring the time I have with you.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Oh The Games She Can Play

Did you know that six-week olds like to play games with their parents heads? Why, yes, my child is exceptional in that area, thankyouverymuch....

Last night we thought we'd turned some kind of sleep corner. Okay, I thought we'd turned some kind of sleep corner I have no idea what the husband thought. At 8 pm, we had the little girl swaddled and in bed. Asleep. By herself. No mommy (normally I go to bed with her, because, let's face it, no one likes zombie-mommy and with at least three night-time feedings, that's what I'd be in the morning without going to bed with the wee one). Nope, mommy was feeling pretty good and decided to stay up with daddy and watch an episode and a half of the West Wing. Ha! Hahahaha....we thought - wow, maybe this is a turning point. She'll start going to bed and we'll have a little time to ourselves to talk (except I don't think we have anything to talk about, which is kind of sad)...

She slept. And woke up and then put herself BACK TO SLEEP. I have a child prodigy at six weeks old! And then I went to bed and fell asleep and at 11 she woke up. And proceeded to nurse and then fall asleep. And then I'd put her in bed and she'd sleep for ten minutes and then flail around, kicking and grunting and rolling her head back and forth and wake herself up.

Lather, rinse, repeat until 3 am. This is why co-sleeping was started, I just know it, because of exhausted moms, worn out by babies who clearly have their own agenda and it's totally revenge because MOM STAYED WITH DAD AND NOT WITH ME! Finally, I brought her in next to me, still swaddled, and let her sleep curled up on my arm. Away from all pillows (really comfy for mommy, let me tell you). But we both slept for about an hour and half and then I woke up and was like, hey, she's still swaddled. Try to put her in bed! HA again...that wasn't going to happen. Change, nurse, burp...and FINALLY back to bed at 4:30. She then slept pretty well until 7ish, woke up at 7:30 and nursed again.

So I've been up since 7:30. On very little sleep. Not that it's the amount of sleep - it's the disruptions. I think I'd be fine if I could get four hours of uninterrupted sleep every night. Not fully functioning or anything - no higher brain power. But fine.

Oh well - I'll sleep when she's in college, right?

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

It Has to Be a Stage, Right?

Do six-week olds go through stages? I mean, I've heard of the Terrible Twos and the even worse, Tantrumy Threes....but the Sleeping Six-Weeks I haven't heard of...but surely, this will pass.

For the last few days, poor little Alice has been having horrible gas (at least that's all we can conclude from her behavior and the diapers we get in the morning). All the information we found says that it's a particular stage of growth, right around 6-8 weeks, the digestive system is finishing up the maturation process and then it should get better. But it makes for some difficult times for mommy and daddy.

And it means that she doesn't sleep as well on her own during the day. At night, she seems fine. By the time bedtime rolls around (we thought it would be around 7:30, based on her sleeping cues, but no, it's right around 9), she gets swaddled and put into bed after eating usually and sleeps soundly for three hours. Last night, not so soundly. But better after the midnight feeding. So during the day, she seems to sleep well only on mommy. Makes typing a bitch.....I have to keep on trying though, to convince her that her napper on the couch is a good place to sleep so mommy can, you know, eat and shower and such.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Alice: One Month

Today (okay, so technically it was Tuesday, or if you want to go by dates, it will be tomorrow) you are one month old. It seems like only yesterday I was heading into the hospital and your dad and I were meeting you.

I'm not going to lie: we've all had to do some adjusting. For one thing, sleep! It's not that you don't like to sleep, but you tend to only do so in two hour increments (at MOST) and so mommy didn't get a whole lot of sleep that first two weeks because she was breastfeeding. I have to say though, I didn't mind. But boy, it was exhausting. And I think you were exhausted too - all that growing you've had to do and keep on doing! But now, mommy is doing a little better because she's started using the pump and that means Daddy can feed you every once in awhile.

I'm still a little nervous doing some things - like leaving you alone in your bassinet while I spend time with Daddy. Every little peep you make makes me want to leap to your side to check on you. And going out alone with you - we've made a couple of trips together: to see Daddy at work, to go to the doctor when I was worried because you were so much more fussy....slowly, we'll go out more I think....when I gain more confidence (and get that mirror up in the car!).

But we are going out more with Daddy. You've already been to the zoo on a nice day, in the Moby (something ELSE mommy needs to learn how to do by herself, so that we can go on walks - but it's complicated apparently).

But every day I get to watch you grow and change and get more used to me and your daddy and your surroundings. I keep waiting for you to smile at me - I think it happened once, when I was sticking my tongue out at you, so that you could mimic me, but I don't know if it was intentional. You're focusing on things more, including my face, which is an incredible feeling because I know you KNOW me.

You really tend to hate tummy time - but you have pretty good neck muscles already and the other day you practically pushed yourself up with your arms. Probably a fluke, but I was very impressed. And boy can you scream! It seems like every night around 9 pm, you decide you don't want to go to bed after all, no matter how tired you are, and you cry and fuss and scream even, until we're all tired and worried and occasionally even mommy has to cry because she doesn't know what is wrong. Usually it lasts less than an hour, but sometimes it's longer, with you calming down until you're juuuuussssttt asleep and then you'll suddenly realize it and wake up and cry again. It can just break our hearts. But I think we'll be okay in time.

You and I are getting used to being alone in the apartment all day too - now that Daddy is back at work. I think you miss him during the day and that contributes to your evening fussiness - after all, why would you want to sleep just after Daddy gets home?! But again, I think that will change once you get used to it and you and I start having more adventures during the day.

You've already grown so much and are becoming a chubby little baby instead of our skinny newborn (10 lbs. already: not that I'm surprised because you love the boob!). I honestly can't wait to see how you grow up and what you'll be like once you start waking up even more during the days (and hopefully sleeping more at night!). I love you, sweetheart. Happy One-Month Birthday!