I have to preface this with this fact: sometimes, she seems to make sense. It's usually NOT when she's spouting biblical principles or something though. But in most ways, I really despise Dr. Laura - although it can be funny to listen to her show. It's also very funny to listen to other conservative radio shows - it's like, education in what conservatives believe and despite the fact I tend to get really annoyed, I also think it's good for me - to at least hear the other point of view.
Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.
a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?
i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
5 comments:
I do notice that none of these - at least none that I recognize as such - come from the new testament. Perhaps that's because the old testament has been thrown out (except for the homosexuality part). So I'm truly interested in how people choose which part of the bible they follow, and which parts they don't...and is it possible to live exactly as the bible says? And yes, I've read the Year of Living Biblically by Jacobs...it was funny and very thought-provoking. But this is a serious question here - I'm really not trying to bash religion or christianity.
Well, the Old Testament is pretty hardcore. But Jesus sort of blew some of that out of the water by telling us to love our neighbors and not judge other people. So, basically, that's what I try to do. When people say "what would Jesus do?" they should be trying to be less judgemental and more loving. There's actually no way to do exactly what the bible says, as it was written in a time very different from our time. For example, even if I wanted to, I couldnt sell my daughter into slavery. but I can still try to follow the ten commandments, which are pretty good rules for life, and even though I'm generally not preachy, as my religion is my own personal thing, I feel like something would be missing if I didnt have God to turn to. Just the other day when I was shopping I said a random prayer to Mary to help me find clothes that looked good but were still modest, and I dont know if she helped, but I did find what i was looking for.
One thing that bugs me is that people dont seem to understand that the bible isnt a book of facts, it's a book of faith. And I'm not sure if any of that helps you, but there's my random 2 cents. :-)
What bugs me is not only that people try to use what is stated in the Bible as facts, but they try to use it as a reason for making laws. Hello, read the Constitution people. I also think some of these people use Jesus as a justification for their actions, as though just believing he was the son of God is enough, and they don't really pay attention to what he actually preached.
And isn't it only in the Old Testament where they can find justification for oppressing gay people? I am pretty sure that Jesus himself (at least the gospels dealing with him) never explicitly mentioned anything, but I am not religious myself so I don't know about the other parts.
Anyway, I think this was hilarious and I have the Year of Living Biblically on my list to read soon.
Well, yes Sara, I sort of get what you're saying - but my question is more, like what part of the bible is more important to follow - all of it, or the new testament or what? Because you DON'T want to sell your daughter into slavery, is that because you feel slavery is wrong and also, selling your child is wrong, and if so, why follow a book of faith that tells you that these are god's commands, basically? And how is a book of faith different - I mean, the ten commandments (whichever ones you happen to follow) are a good guideline -don't steal, don't kill, etc. but you can find good guidelines like this in Hammurabi's laws as well - and those weren't based on the bible, as far as I know. And Jesus also said that the scripture was the word of god and should not be broken - so doesn't that sort of imply that if god sanctions selling your daughter, you need to follow that? And the other rules god set down there - including ones that today we would find silly or wrong or both?
And you could have prayed to Venus, since she's a goddess of vanity and probably would answer prayers about clothing.....:-)
But I dont believe that Venus is real, is the thing. And for Christians, Jesus coming kind of negated some of the old, crazy rules. Like, when he said to love your neighbor and not to judge people, in my opinion that overrules hating people for being gay, etc. Because we all know we are sinners and it isnt our place to judge, it's God's. How do I know exactly what his plan is? that would be pretty impressive of me. Also, I think that would fall into the category of being too vain. :)
Two movies I really liked for their religious messages were Dogma and What Dreams May Come.
Sara
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