To Kay and Dean:
Snappy Comebacks to "Why aren't you married yet?"
-You haven't asked yet.
-I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
-What? And spoil my great sex life?
-Nobody would believe me in white.
-Because I just love hearing this question.
-Just lucky, I guess.
-It gives my mother something to live for.
-My fiancee is awaiting his/her parole.
-I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
-Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
-I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
-It didn't seem worth a blood test.
-I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
-Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
-My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.
-I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
-They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
-I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
-I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.
-What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?
-We really want to, but my lover's spouse just won't go for it.
-I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
-Why aren't you thin?
-I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
--(Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
And just hilarious:
Top 10 Reasons Beer is Better Than Religion:
10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.
2 comments:
Wow...those were all very good suggestions for comebacks to those that think that just 'cause you're dating someone, you should eventually marry them or your life won't be complete. I think my favorite was, why aren't you thin, although I would feel really really guilty if I ever actually said something like that to someone. It might be worth it to see the look on their face...Anyway, thanks for giving me a good laugh.
I hoped it would and glad to know it did. You're welcome.
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