Well, let's see if I can do a quick rundown of life so far:
1. Vacation in Kansas: Got to see family, in a very rushed way. Why does it always seem like we have plenty of time, but instead do not?
2. Summer programs start at the library. It's my first summer here. Am very nervous and hoping I can remember everything. Also, there is one program where there will be snakes, loose (as in, not locked in triple glass cages far away from me), in the library. Please keep your fingers crossed that I am not working IN THAT ROOM on that day!!
3. Catching up on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
4. Read the Empire of Illusion by Chris Hedges, which every single person in America should read. Seriously. It's on par with The Healing of America by T.R. Reid, which is also something every single person in American should read. Seriously. Read them.
5. Found a couple of new blogs people should check out: Let me know if the links don't work, okay?
The Secular Parent
Epiphenom
Friday, June 04, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
News
Hey all -
Maybe you noticed the new picture at the right of my posts? Anyway, it's also a link to this great new foundation that gives money to different charities. I think everyone should check it out, and if you can, choose a charity and make a donation. All good causes, and tax deductible and all of that.
Maybe you noticed the new picture at the right of my posts? Anyway, it's also a link to this great new foundation that gives money to different charities. I think everyone should check it out, and if you can, choose a charity and make a donation. All good causes, and tax deductible and all of that.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Free-Range Parenting Question: Is it okay to offer to help?
So, I am a big reader of the Free Range parenting blog (and articles, and books, and all that goes with it). I was reading about the parenting in different countries, during vacations in Thailand, and here.
And I had a question, so I'm really hoping that any free range parent can answer this for me, from their perspective.
Last month I was traveling, in the U.S. - my husband and I took trains and planes, and it seemed wherever we'd go there'd be kids and parents. Anyway, I'm wondering, are we too overprotective in this country to accept help from a stranger, or should it even be offered? I'm thinking not of anything specific, but I'll try to give an example.
I'm on an airplane (or in a restaurant, or public place, etc.) and I see a parent having trouble: their toddler needs to go to the bathroom, they're the only ones in the little group, and they have an infant. Is it acceptable to offer to watch/hold the infant while they take the toddler in the bathroom, or is that now a major danger alert for parents?
I refrain from doing anything like this, on the off chance I'd get a violent reaction from the parent thinking I'm a kidnapper or something - but I really feel bad in situations like these, because society is so much safer when people help each other.
So should I offer and take the consequences, which might be as little as a polite refusal or even a grateful, "that would be wonderful" or might be as bad as someone being paranoid and reporting me to the police or other official (I don't know for what, exactly, possible harm?)
I'd be interested in answers: is it okay to offer to help?
And I had a question, so I'm really hoping that any free range parent can answer this for me, from their perspective.
Last month I was traveling, in the U.S. - my husband and I took trains and planes, and it seemed wherever we'd go there'd be kids and parents. Anyway, I'm wondering, are we too overprotective in this country to accept help from a stranger, or should it even be offered? I'm thinking not of anything specific, but I'll try to give an example.
I'm on an airplane (or in a restaurant, or public place, etc.) and I see a parent having trouble: their toddler needs to go to the bathroom, they're the only ones in the little group, and they have an infant. Is it acceptable to offer to watch/hold the infant while they take the toddler in the bathroom, or is that now a major danger alert for parents?
I refrain from doing anything like this, on the off chance I'd get a violent reaction from the parent thinking I'm a kidnapper or something - but I really feel bad in situations like these, because society is so much safer when people help each other.
So should I offer and take the consequences, which might be as little as a polite refusal or even a grateful, "that would be wonderful" or might be as bad as someone being paranoid and reporting me to the police or other official (I don't know for what, exactly, possible harm?)
I'd be interested in answers: is it okay to offer to help?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
The Onion
Had forgotten how funny the Onion can be.....
NEW YORK—Pro-life advocates celebrated approval of the new anti-abortion drug UR-86 by the Food and Drug Administration Tuesday, calling it a "safe and effective method" for terminating pregnant women while leaving their unborn children unharmed.
Pfizer, manufacturer of UR-86—dubbed the "last-morning-ever pill"—said the drug is intended only for occasions when the mind-set or politics of the mother threaten the life of the fetus.
"This drug is designed for extreme cases in which the mother cannot or should not be saved, or when her health has been placed before that of her unborn child," Pfizer spokesman Anthony Wright said.
The orally ingested drug first tests for the presence of a fetus. If the outcome is positive, a near-lethal dose of barbiturates is released, which induces a coma in the expectant mother until the child is born, at which point a second, fatal dose is released.
The FDA's approval came after months of clinical trials firmly established that the fetus would be nourished and protected in the womb of the near-deceased UR-86 user.
Gender-equality advocates praised the introduction of the drug, calling it an "innovative solution" to the highly polarizing national abortion debate.
"This is a step forward for equality," men's rights activist Charles Hackett said. "For too long, women have had an unfair advantage in the outcome of a pregnancy. UR-86 levels the playing field for husbands and boyfriends across America."
Pro-life advocates, many of whom had petitioned the FDA to approve UR-86 while the drug was still in the research-and-development stage, also reacted warmly to the FDA's decision. Randall Terry, founder of Operation Rescue, praised the new pharmaceutical for its potential use in cases of rape and incest, saying it could help end the shame and humiliation of such trauma while saving the life of the fetus.
"Victims of sexual assault can feel trapped, like they've got nowhere to turn," Terry said. "Now, they can solve their deep, internal problems once and for all, without unfairly condemning their children."
Yet critics say UR-86's prescription-only status and the fact that most health insurance plans do not cover the drug limit its effectiveness, as it is not available to those who need it most.
"If people can't afford the drug or get it prescribed on short notice, they're not going to have enough time to act, especially when their wives want to end the pregnancy fast," men's issues commentator Stan Dynes said. "UR-86 should be made available over the counter as soon as possible. It's the husband's right to choose if this drug is right for him, and neither the government nor the medical elite should get in the way of that decision."
Pfizer trials showed that UR-86 can do nothing for the fetus if an abortion procedure is performed. "If the mother is administered the pill the morning after an abortion, the fetus cannot be revived because it won't be there," Pfizer's Wright said. "It will still terminate the mother, though."
Conversely, some lawmakers are uneasy with the concept of ready access to the anti-abortion pill.
Tuesday night, South Dakota legislators introduced a bill to impose a five-day waiting period for teenage girls and women before they can buy the pill, claiming its use does not adequately safeguard the lifestyle of the father, the laundry of the father, or the favorite meals of the father. The legislators cited Pfizer's own published list of side effects of UR-86, which include domestic messiness, already-born-child neglect, and inadequate stocking of the fridge.
Still, Pfizer anticipates not only that the drug will be popular with husbands, but also that, once available over the counter, UR-86 will likely find a large consumer base in mothers-in-law, downstairs neighbors, and extramarital lovers.
NEW YORK—Pro-life advocates celebrated approval of the new anti-abortion drug UR-86 by the Food and Drug Administration Tuesday, calling it a "safe and effective method" for terminating pregnant women while leaving their unborn children unharmed.
Pfizer, manufacturer of UR-86—dubbed the "last-morning-ever pill"—said the drug is intended only for occasions when the mind-set or politics of the mother threaten the life of the fetus.
"This drug is designed for extreme cases in which the mother cannot or should not be saved, or when her health has been placed before that of her unborn child," Pfizer spokesman Anthony Wright said.
The orally ingested drug first tests for the presence of a fetus. If the outcome is positive, a near-lethal dose of barbiturates is released, which induces a coma in the expectant mother until the child is born, at which point a second, fatal dose is released.
The FDA's approval came after months of clinical trials firmly established that the fetus would be nourished and protected in the womb of the near-deceased UR-86 user.
Gender-equality advocates praised the introduction of the drug, calling it an "innovative solution" to the highly polarizing national abortion debate.
"This is a step forward for equality," men's rights activist Charles Hackett said. "For too long, women have had an unfair advantage in the outcome of a pregnancy. UR-86 levels the playing field for husbands and boyfriends across America."
Pro-life advocates, many of whom had petitioned the FDA to approve UR-86 while the drug was still in the research-and-development stage, also reacted warmly to the FDA's decision. Randall Terry, founder of Operation Rescue, praised the new pharmaceutical for its potential use in cases of rape and incest, saying it could help end the shame and humiliation of such trauma while saving the life of the fetus.
"Victims of sexual assault can feel trapped, like they've got nowhere to turn," Terry said. "Now, they can solve their deep, internal problems once and for all, without unfairly condemning their children."
Yet critics say UR-86's prescription-only status and the fact that most health insurance plans do not cover the drug limit its effectiveness, as it is not available to those who need it most.
"If people can't afford the drug or get it prescribed on short notice, they're not going to have enough time to act, especially when their wives want to end the pregnancy fast," men's issues commentator Stan Dynes said. "UR-86 should be made available over the counter as soon as possible. It's the husband's right to choose if this drug is right for him, and neither the government nor the medical elite should get in the way of that decision."
Pfizer trials showed that UR-86 can do nothing for the fetus if an abortion procedure is performed. "If the mother is administered the pill the morning after an abortion, the fetus cannot be revived because it won't be there," Pfizer's Wright said. "It will still terminate the mother, though."
Conversely, some lawmakers are uneasy with the concept of ready access to the anti-abortion pill.
Tuesday night, South Dakota legislators introduced a bill to impose a five-day waiting period for teenage girls and women before they can buy the pill, claiming its use does not adequately safeguard the lifestyle of the father, the laundry of the father, or the favorite meals of the father. The legislators cited Pfizer's own published list of side effects of UR-86, which include domestic messiness, already-born-child neglect, and inadequate stocking of the fridge.
Still, Pfizer anticipates not only that the drug will be popular with husbands, but also that, once available over the counter, UR-86 will likely find a large consumer base in mothers-in-law, downstairs neighbors, and extramarital lovers.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Happy April!
I am now on a major hunt for fun topics/things to do for future storytimes. To that end, I have found a wonderful author: Alan Katz. He redoes the words to fun, traditional kid's songs. Here are a few of my favorites!
Give Me a Break (to the tune of "Home on the Range" - I am originally a KS girl)
Oh give me a break
'Cause I made a mistake
And my library book's overdue
The fault is all mine
Oh boy, what a fine
It was due way back in '92!
Home, home's where it's hid
This is such a bad thing I did
And you might say "Gee whiz!"
'Cause the book's title is
How to Be a Responsible Kid!
"Don't Flush Strange Things in the Potty" (to the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic") - for patriotic potty training?
Don't take your sister's rattle and just drop it in the bowl
It's not place to hide things like a pocket or a hole
It's also not a home to give your fishy or a tadpole
The toilet is for poop!
Don't put your toy in the toilet
Or it's probably gonna spoil it
And your mom'll have to boil it
The toilet is for poop!
A kid I know took both his boots and flushed 'em on a whim
Then he took his favorite bear and taught him how to swim
The potty started flooding and they called on Plumber Jim
He had to fix their bowl
Don't flush strange things in the potty
Doing that is really naughty
Pee and poop come from your body
And they go in the bowl!
Give Me a Break (to the tune of "Home on the Range" - I am originally a KS girl)
Oh give me a break
'Cause I made a mistake
And my library book's overdue
The fault is all mine
Oh boy, what a fine
It was due way back in '92!
Home, home's where it's hid
This is such a bad thing I did
And you might say "Gee whiz!"
'Cause the book's title is
How to Be a Responsible Kid!
"Don't Flush Strange Things in the Potty" (to the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic") - for patriotic potty training?
Don't take your sister's rattle and just drop it in the bowl
It's not place to hide things like a pocket or a hole
It's also not a home to give your fishy or a tadpole
The toilet is for poop!
Don't put your toy in the toilet
Or it's probably gonna spoil it
And your mom'll have to boil it
The toilet is for poop!
A kid I know took both his boots and flushed 'em on a whim
Then he took his favorite bear and taught him how to swim
The potty started flooding and they called on Plumber Jim
He had to fix their bowl
Don't flush strange things in the potty
Doing that is really naughty
Pee and poop come from your body
And they go in the bowl!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Getting In Shape: The Saga: Part 3
Well, I've been doing well. I've decided that my new goal for the next month and a half is to work up to running 30 minutes straight. That's probably about 3 miles, maybe 4, depending on pace and all. So, I'm starting with intervals. Today, I walked 4 minutes and then ran, fairly slowly, but not a jog, for 2 minutes. I did this 5 times. Since N and I are going the PLA in Oregon this week, my workouts will only be two days this week, not including all the walking we'll do in the city while being tourists.
I've been eating healthy, and really enjoyed my Saturday, I can eat whatever I want day. I didn't go too crazy, but I did have ice cream after dinner: a small chocolate cone, and popcorn at the movies. Since I'm off soda, I don't think my calories were too high. I also took the two days off from major exercise; Saturday, because of the snow, and Sunday, because I worked at the children's desk.
Was majorly distracted last night watching the health care reform debate and reading blogs: I like to read the right-wing conservative, anti-choice, etc. blogs when major progressive things come up to watch the freak outs and thank my lucky stars that the internet is fairly anonymous. I don't comment or anything, but if I did, I'd be extremely glad. Some of those people seem dangerously unstable.
This is going to be a busy week, and end of the month, so I wanted to make sure I posted something recent. Hopefully you faithful readers won't miss me TOO much :-)
I've been eating healthy, and really enjoyed my Saturday, I can eat whatever I want day. I didn't go too crazy, but I did have ice cream after dinner: a small chocolate cone, and popcorn at the movies. Since I'm off soda, I don't think my calories were too high. I also took the two days off from major exercise; Saturday, because of the snow, and Sunday, because I worked at the children's desk.
Was majorly distracted last night watching the health care reform debate and reading blogs: I like to read the right-wing conservative, anti-choice, etc. blogs when major progressive things come up to watch the freak outs and thank my lucky stars that the internet is fairly anonymous. I don't comment or anything, but if I did, I'd be extremely glad. Some of those people seem dangerously unstable.
This is going to be a busy week, and end of the month, so I wanted to make sure I posted something recent. Hopefully you faithful readers won't miss me TOO much :-)
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Getting in Shape: The Saga: Part 2
How long has it been since I last posted about my trials in getting back into shape? Ten days or so? Here's an update, for all of you who actually care.
My goggles (which I bought cheaply at Walmart) have finally died. They no longer provide protection from water, therefore I have to figure out how to use N's, which are actually real swimmer's goggles and therefore require some sort of advanced degree in Engineering to figure out how to adjust so they will fit my small, weirdly shaped head. Therefore, swimming has been out, because I keep forgetting to ask him to who me how to adjust them. My fault.
I have been walking all this week, usually between 2 and 3 miles, sometimes slightly over 3. The path across the street, which is excellent, is finally free of all snow. It's been nice out all this week, with only a couple of days where I needed warmer layers. Today, all I needed was tights and a sweatshirt.
I managed to do three minutes of running today...I think it could have been more, but I didn't drink as much water as I normally do in the morning and that lack, plus the fact that I'm years out of shape, added up to a "Shit, well, damnit - YAY! You did 3 whole minutes! I'm so proud of you, you'll do even better tomorrow!" Rant in my head. That's right, I talk to myself when I run or walk. Usually it's along the lines of, "You can stop when you reach that tree. No, not that one, the one up ahead. I didn't mean THIS one, I mean that one, see, the big one. You made it past the bridge, good job can you get to the crosswalk." By which point, my running looks awkward and I'm gasping for breath, angry at my inner voice for promising I could quit sooner. Stupid inner voice.
The eating I'm having trouble with. I just enjoy food too much - and since it's a hard habit and attitude to let go of: namely, that I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight (yes, I realize this is a lie nowadays) - I'm having trouble measuring things out and making sure to eat normal portion sizes, as opposed to the ginormous ones that has led to America's obesity epidemic. But I try and I've accomplished a lot: I have fruit and/or a vegetable at almost every meal, even snacks, excluding last night's french toast. And I'm drinking tons of water - which my bathroom hates. And I have found favorites even: like today, I had a whole-wheat sandwich wrap with peanut butter (the recommended amount, which is actually a little more than I usually use and bananas, drizzled with a little bit of honey. With skim milk. Totally yummy.
Finally - how long does it take to see results? I am an American and I want, nay, I DEMAND, instant results!! I should have a flatter stomach and better thighs by now...urgh!
My goggles (which I bought cheaply at Walmart) have finally died. They no longer provide protection from water, therefore I have to figure out how to use N's, which are actually real swimmer's goggles and therefore require some sort of advanced degree in Engineering to figure out how to adjust so they will fit my small, weirdly shaped head. Therefore, swimming has been out, because I keep forgetting to ask him to who me how to adjust them. My fault.
I have been walking all this week, usually between 2 and 3 miles, sometimes slightly over 3. The path across the street, which is excellent, is finally free of all snow. It's been nice out all this week, with only a couple of days where I needed warmer layers. Today, all I needed was tights and a sweatshirt.
I managed to do three minutes of running today...I think it could have been more, but I didn't drink as much water as I normally do in the morning and that lack, plus the fact that I'm years out of shape, added up to a "Shit, well, damnit - YAY! You did 3 whole minutes! I'm so proud of you, you'll do even better tomorrow!" Rant in my head. That's right, I talk to myself when I run or walk. Usually it's along the lines of, "You can stop when you reach that tree. No, not that one, the one up ahead. I didn't mean THIS one, I mean that one, see, the big one. You made it past the bridge, good job can you get to the crosswalk." By which point, my running looks awkward and I'm gasping for breath, angry at my inner voice for promising I could quit sooner. Stupid inner voice.
The eating I'm having trouble with. I just enjoy food too much - and since it's a hard habit and attitude to let go of: namely, that I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight (yes, I realize this is a lie nowadays) - I'm having trouble measuring things out and making sure to eat normal portion sizes, as opposed to the ginormous ones that has led to America's obesity epidemic. But I try and I've accomplished a lot: I have fruit and/or a vegetable at almost every meal, even snacks, excluding last night's french toast. And I'm drinking tons of water - which my bathroom hates. And I have found favorites even: like today, I had a whole-wheat sandwich wrap with peanut butter (the recommended amount, which is actually a little more than I usually use and bananas, drizzled with a little bit of honey. With skim milk. Totally yummy.
Finally - how long does it take to see results? I am an American and I want, nay, I DEMAND, instant results!! I should have a flatter stomach and better thighs by now...urgh!
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Getting in Shape: The Saga: Part 1
I need some major fitness help. I can't seem to get any motivation. For a week and a half, I went swimming every day. Then, I had to take a break because of a stupid rash. I've been trying to walk more, which is fine, but doesn't seem to do much. Plus, I'm not great with dieting. I don't like the idea of living life always watching calories and not enjoying certain foods: cheeseburgers and pizza. It's just not a happy way to live. And I eat healthily for the most part: I don't eat cheeseburgers and pizza every week. I try to eat veggies and sushi, and fruit, except I'm sick of apples and oranges are usually too sour or acidic. (Excuses!). I've also almost completely given up soda and I rarely drink a lot of coffee. Not every day: sometimes I have a cup, sometimes more, but it's not all the time.
It's finally starting to get warmer outside, which means I'll be able to start running soon. I could even start running now, except I need to wait to buy my new running shoes - the ones that will, hopefully, not cause me to get shin splints this season. My goal is to work up to a half-marathon. Not that I am going to compete in one or anything, but just be able to run one once, by August or September.
I need a workout buddy. Does someone want to move up here and workout with me? Please?
Today, I am trying to relax and take a break from worrying about this. I have Girl Scout cookies! I'm not fat and I deserve Girl Scout cookies! And yet, I can not relax, because I'd like to lose a little weight and have somewhat buff arms by the time Nick and I go to Portland in two weeks. Clearly, to do that, I should not be eating thin mints!
Why does motivation take so much energy? It seems to take more energy to get motivated than to actually exercise.
It's finally starting to get warmer outside, which means I'll be able to start running soon. I could even start running now, except I need to wait to buy my new running shoes - the ones that will, hopefully, not cause me to get shin splints this season. My goal is to work up to a half-marathon. Not that I am going to compete in one or anything, but just be able to run one once, by August or September.
I need a workout buddy. Does someone want to move up here and workout with me? Please?
Today, I am trying to relax and take a break from worrying about this. I have Girl Scout cookies! I'm not fat and I deserve Girl Scout cookies! And yet, I can not relax, because I'd like to lose a little weight and have somewhat buff arms by the time Nick and I go to Portland in two weeks. Clearly, to do that, I should not be eating thin mints!
Why does motivation take so much energy? It seems to take more energy to get motivated than to actually exercise.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Religion
So, I've been reading a lot lately, because I'm in full-on learning mode. I think I need to take a class or something. It's weird not being in school, since I've been there 24 years or so...
And one of the books I've been re-skimming (since I read it a couple years ago) was Dan Barker's Losing Faith in Faith. I've lately been reflecting on religion in society, and politics, and in my life, and even in my friends' lives. It's an interesting conundrum, because religion, by its very nature, is somewhat comforting. As long as you blindly believe, pretty much, you don't have to worry about certain things: death, evil, meaning of life (sort of). So in a sense, it'd be easy to just choose some religion to become a part of: go back to Catholicism, become Wiccan, join the Episcopal church....
But rationalism just makes so much more SENSE! I remember never asking those questions that now I constantly wonder what the answer would have been had I asked...I can't even remember all those questions I had, when I was a kid. And when I think about it, my environment seemed to say, don't ask! Don't question! If you're scared of losing friends because you're thinking different thoughts or questioning things you just don't do it, you know?
Anyway, there's a question that Dan Barker put toward readers in his book, and I'm paraphrasing here:
Without the Laws of Moses, humans would be wandering around like little gods, stealing, raping, and spilling blood wherever vanity was offended? That question resonates with me - I think humans, for the most part, are basically good. We're not born evil, we're not born with "original sin," we're evolutionarily hardwired to be good to each other. So why do we need laws - of Moses, 10 Commandments, etc. But then I start thinking about all the things laws DO provide: civil rights, equality, figuring out messy situations, sometimes messily themselves. So I'm not inviting anarchy or anything...BUT...
I consider myself a good person. I give to charity. I try very hard to help people. I support causes I believe in, and love my family, and all sorts of things. And I do this NOT because I'm afraid if I don't I will go to hell, or because "god" told me to, or because if I do I will go to heaven. I do it because it's the right thing to do.
And here's something funny to end my weird musing: also from Dan Barker, which I just LOVE:
Truth does not demand belief. Scientists do not join hands every Sunday, singing, yes, gravity is real! I will have faith! I will be strong! I believe in my heart that what goes up, must come down, down, down. Amen! If they did, we would think they were pretty insecure about it.
He also had a challenge, which I'm going to dig out my Bible to complete: where do these words appear in the Bible, if they do!?
trinity, Rapture, Second Coming, original sin, afterlife, deity, divinity, theology, monotheism, transcendence, omniscience, fundamentalist, evangelical, catholic, Christmas, Christianity, Purgatory, Infallibility, inerrancy, good Friday, Eucharist, chastity, dogma, capital punishment, abortion, ethics, morality, patriotism, education, democracy, capitalism, lesbian, homosexual, logic, fairness, Bible, unpardonable sin, pope, cardinal, the Lord's Prayer, doubting Thomas, catechism, transubstantiation, sermon, republic, apostasy, atheism, funeral, decalogue.
And one of the books I've been re-skimming (since I read it a couple years ago) was Dan Barker's Losing Faith in Faith. I've lately been reflecting on religion in society, and politics, and in my life, and even in my friends' lives. It's an interesting conundrum, because religion, by its very nature, is somewhat comforting. As long as you blindly believe, pretty much, you don't have to worry about certain things: death, evil, meaning of life (sort of). So in a sense, it'd be easy to just choose some religion to become a part of: go back to Catholicism, become Wiccan, join the Episcopal church....
But rationalism just makes so much more SENSE! I remember never asking those questions that now I constantly wonder what the answer would have been had I asked...I can't even remember all those questions I had, when I was a kid. And when I think about it, my environment seemed to say, don't ask! Don't question! If you're scared of losing friends because you're thinking different thoughts or questioning things you just don't do it, you know?
Anyway, there's a question that Dan Barker put toward readers in his book, and I'm paraphrasing here:
Without the Laws of Moses, humans would be wandering around like little gods, stealing, raping, and spilling blood wherever vanity was offended? That question resonates with me - I think humans, for the most part, are basically good. We're not born evil, we're not born with "original sin," we're evolutionarily hardwired to be good to each other. So why do we need laws - of Moses, 10 Commandments, etc. But then I start thinking about all the things laws DO provide: civil rights, equality, figuring out messy situations, sometimes messily themselves. So I'm not inviting anarchy or anything...BUT...
I consider myself a good person. I give to charity. I try very hard to help people. I support causes I believe in, and love my family, and all sorts of things. And I do this NOT because I'm afraid if I don't I will go to hell, or because "god" told me to, or because if I do I will go to heaven. I do it because it's the right thing to do.
And here's something funny to end my weird musing: also from Dan Barker, which I just LOVE:
Truth does not demand belief. Scientists do not join hands every Sunday, singing, yes, gravity is real! I will have faith! I will be strong! I believe in my heart that what goes up, must come down, down, down. Amen! If they did, we would think they were pretty insecure about it.
He also had a challenge, which I'm going to dig out my Bible to complete: where do these words appear in the Bible, if they do!?
trinity, Rapture, Second Coming, original sin, afterlife, deity, divinity, theology, monotheism, transcendence, omniscience, fundamentalist, evangelical, catholic, Christmas, Christianity, Purgatory, Infallibility, inerrancy, good Friday, Eucharist, chastity, dogma, capital punishment, abortion, ethics, morality, patriotism, education, democracy, capitalism, lesbian, homosexual, logic, fairness, Bible, unpardonable sin, pope, cardinal, the Lord's Prayer, doubting Thomas, catechism, transubstantiation, sermon, republic, apostasy, atheism, funeral, decalogue.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Reading
What I'm Reading Now: I read several to many books at the same time, a mix of adult fiction/non-fiction and teen fiction/nonfiction, as well as children's books of all types. It's my job (and totally a pleasure) as a librarian! Duh!
The Left Hand of God by Michael Lerner
Going Bovine by Libba Bray
Family Tree by Barbara Delinsky
Comfort Food: Williams and Sonoma
Twelve Sharp by Janet Evanovich
What I've Just Finished Reading and Recommend!
Sexism in American by Barbara Berg
Framed: A Baby Blues Treasury (hilarious comics, I love these)
Going Rouge: An American Nightmare (which was hilarious!)by Richard Kim and Betsy Reed
Abortion: My Choice, God's Grace by Anne Eggebroten
I am also excited that one of my favorite characters will be returning in a new book in March! Totally buying the book - which is indeed special. I guess that's really all...I don't have much of a topic, I guess, but I'm always open to new ideas and to talking about these books, if any one else has read them!
The Left Hand of God by Michael Lerner
Going Bovine by Libba Bray
Family Tree by Barbara Delinsky
Comfort Food: Williams and Sonoma
Twelve Sharp by Janet Evanovich
What I've Just Finished Reading and Recommend!
Sexism in American by Barbara Berg
Framed: A Baby Blues Treasury (hilarious comics, I love these)
Going Rouge: An American Nightmare (which was hilarious!)by Richard Kim and Betsy Reed
Abortion: My Choice, God's Grace by Anne Eggebroten
I am also excited that one of my favorite characters will be returning in a new book in March! Totally buying the book - which is indeed special. I guess that's really all...I don't have much of a topic, I guess, but I'm always open to new ideas and to talking about these books, if any one else has read them!
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Quiz!
I passed this quiz, but barely. How well did you do?
How Much Do You Know?
Okay, so I'm a little bored. How about this quiz?
Are you?
The quiz site is Go To Quiz and I had a lot of fun just choosing a bunch of different ones. I wonder why taking quizzes like this is so much more fun than quizzes and tests in school. Weird!
How Much Do You Know?
Okay, so I'm a little bored. How about this quiz?
Are you?
The quiz site is Go To Quiz and I had a lot of fun just choosing a bunch of different ones. I wonder why taking quizzes like this is so much more fun than quizzes and tests in school. Weird!
Friday, January 29, 2010
My Only January Post
Well, I was wrong - I can admit it. Ramee, you were right to have faith in a Kansas jury. It's good to know.
Kansas Juries DO Care about justice
In other news: I cut off all of my hair (okay, not all!). It's a "long bob" although not extremely long, and has some layers. Looks cute and ready for spring. I am hoping it will spur the weather on to get warmer. I am hoping to post some pictures here and on Facebook once I get some taken and uploaded to my computer.
How many of you readers were able to watch the State of the Union address? I had to work that night, so I missed it but I'm interested in hearing what you thought. Considering the problems this country has right now, I have to say, I am still very supportive of Obama. I knew solutions wouldn't come quickly. I wish some things had been taken care of, but then, I let my representatives know that, so I guess I've done all I can. Also, any thoughts on the resolution that is being introduced from some in the Republican party who want candidates to agree with 8 out of 10 of their positions, or not get funding. I think it's called the Reagan principles? Since I have some Republican friends and family; shocking I know!; I am really interested to see if they would be considered "true" Republicans. I don't think many would when it came down to the specifics involved in each of the principles, but I don't know. But it's an interesting thing to watch, in my opinion.
Also, I have been staying up with a new blog. It's funny and shocking and really interesting and I thought some of you might be interested.
Here's the link:
Remember OUR childhoods?
Kansas Juries DO Care about justice
In other news: I cut off all of my hair (okay, not all!). It's a "long bob" although not extremely long, and has some layers. Looks cute and ready for spring. I am hoping it will spur the weather on to get warmer. I am hoping to post some pictures here and on Facebook once I get some taken and uploaded to my computer.
How many of you readers were able to watch the State of the Union address? I had to work that night, so I missed it but I'm interested in hearing what you thought. Considering the problems this country has right now, I have to say, I am still very supportive of Obama. I knew solutions wouldn't come quickly. I wish some things had been taken care of, but then, I let my representatives know that, so I guess I've done all I can. Also, any thoughts on the resolution that is being introduced from some in the Republican party who want candidates to agree with 8 out of 10 of their positions, or not get funding. I think it's called the Reagan principles? Since I have some Republican friends and family; shocking I know!; I am really interested to see if they would be considered "true" Republicans. I don't think many would when it came down to the specifics involved in each of the principles, but I don't know. But it's an interesting thing to watch, in my opinion.
Also, I have been staying up with a new blog. It's funny and shocking and really interesting and I thought some of you might be interested.
Here's the link:
Remember OUR childhoods?
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Home
I think this will be a rather long post, since I have some stuff - even if it's semi-boring- to say.
N and I returned from Kansas the day before yesterday. Amazingly, we had clear roads and clear weather the entire way. We must have gotten lucky, because when we left on the 19th we missed all the bad weather, and the same thing happened on our way home.
It was a busy and fun week. It's always amazing to me how quickly our visits back to Kansas go - we had a whole week and yet when we got back on Sunday, it felt like we'd never even left. Christmas always goes too fast. This was our last Christmas in Andale, I think, since we usually congregate at my brother's house, and they're moving to western Kansas. I got some great gifts, and I think gave some great gifts so that was nice. And basically, N and I just hung out with family and enjoyed not having to work. I got to see my nephew's basketball game, and played a lot with my younger nephews. It was sad that my sister and bro-in-law and their two girls couldn't make it down, we missed them.
I was very happy to be able to get lunch with my oldest girlfriends - even though it always seems so short, because we all have places to be and people to see. But it's always so great to see them.
I'm working on getting laundry done and the apartment cleaned up a bit so things are more in order - have to find space for new things and move some older things around. Isn't that always the way?
I am still addicted to HGTV and the Food network, but cable is so expensive that I don't think I'll be able to feed my addiction anytime soon: I will have to stick with my books and DVDs. I really want to start cooking, thanks to watching all those cooking shows.
And, see, I was wrong - it's not a long post, but it IS kind of boring.
Happy New Year's readers, and don't drink and drive!
N and I returned from Kansas the day before yesterday. Amazingly, we had clear roads and clear weather the entire way. We must have gotten lucky, because when we left on the 19th we missed all the bad weather, and the same thing happened on our way home.
It was a busy and fun week. It's always amazing to me how quickly our visits back to Kansas go - we had a whole week and yet when we got back on Sunday, it felt like we'd never even left. Christmas always goes too fast. This was our last Christmas in Andale, I think, since we usually congregate at my brother's house, and they're moving to western Kansas. I got some great gifts, and I think gave some great gifts so that was nice. And basically, N and I just hung out with family and enjoyed not having to work. I got to see my nephew's basketball game, and played a lot with my younger nephews. It was sad that my sister and bro-in-law and their two girls couldn't make it down, we missed them.
I was very happy to be able to get lunch with my oldest girlfriends - even though it always seems so short, because we all have places to be and people to see. But it's always so great to see them.
I'm working on getting laundry done and the apartment cleaned up a bit so things are more in order - have to find space for new things and move some older things around. Isn't that always the way?
I am still addicted to HGTV and the Food network, but cable is so expensive that I don't think I'll be able to feed my addiction anytime soon: I will have to stick with my books and DVDs. I really want to start cooking, thanks to watching all those cooking shows.
And, see, I was wrong - it's not a long post, but it IS kind of boring.
Happy New Year's readers, and don't drink and drive!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
It's Almost Christmas!
YAY! I love Christmas - I love the lights, I love the decorations, I love the music, I love giving and getting gifts. Today, I pulled out N's stocking and tried to find mine (it has sentimental meaning, since my mom made it) but couldn't find it - meaning it's hidden in some box in a corner somewhere, laughing as I try to figure out which one. After Christmas, I'm going to have to go through everything and label the boxes precisely with my ultra-cool label maker. But I digress.
Will be coming to Kansas for the holidays and get to see my family; so exciting! I'll hopefully be able to catch my nephew's last basketball game at Andale (they're moving) and hang out with all the kiddos. This year, I have two new nieces and a new nephew to spoil - thanks to Nick and us getting married and all. It's so much fun to tell people, when they ask how many nieces and nephews I have, that I have 9! They're so surprised. Yesterday, a patron commented that I looked too young to have that many. I was very gratified, since I know I'm starting to look older.
I am also excited about seeing my friends and eating great pizza - yes, in that order, but only slightly, since I LOVE Gambino's pizza! I totally miss it, since we don't have one in Iowa. And my family always has great food, so my fitness classes will come in handy after Christmas: I'm taking three: yoga, cardio, and aqua aerobics. I'm very excited about it, because I won't have excuses to not exercise.
Anyway, though somewhat pointless, my blog is now new. And has a far lighter topic.
Happy Holidays!
Happy Winter Solstice!
Merry Christmas!
Happy Hanukkah!
Merry Ramadan!! - Is that even correct?
Will be coming to Kansas for the holidays and get to see my family; so exciting! I'll hopefully be able to catch my nephew's last basketball game at Andale (they're moving) and hang out with all the kiddos. This year, I have two new nieces and a new nephew to spoil - thanks to Nick and us getting married and all. It's so much fun to tell people, when they ask how many nieces and nephews I have, that I have 9! They're so surprised. Yesterday, a patron commented that I looked too young to have that many. I was very gratified, since I know I'm starting to look older.
I am also excited about seeing my friends and eating great pizza - yes, in that order, but only slightly, since I LOVE Gambino's pizza! I totally miss it, since we don't have one in Iowa. And my family always has great food, so my fitness classes will come in handy after Christmas: I'm taking three: yoga, cardio, and aqua aerobics. I'm very excited about it, because I won't have excuses to not exercise.
Anyway, though somewhat pointless, my blog is now new. And has a far lighter topic.
Happy Holidays!
Happy Winter Solstice!
Merry Christmas!
Happy Hanukkah!
Merry Ramadan!! - Is that even correct?
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Quotes I'm Thinking about Now
"If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament." - Florynce Kennedy
"A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes." - James Feibleman
"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home." - Bill Cosby
"Just think of the tragedy of teaching children' not to doubt." - Clarence Darrow
"We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go further." Richard Dawkins
"In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others." - Andre Maurois
"It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry." - H.L. Mencken
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same god who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." Gallileo Galilei
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." - Judy Garland
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain
"A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes." - James Feibleman
"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home." - Bill Cosby
"Just think of the tragedy of teaching children' not to doubt." - Clarence Darrow
"We are all atheists about most of the gods that societies have ever believed in. Some of us just go further." Richard Dawkins
"In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others." - Andre Maurois
"It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry." - H.L. Mencken
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same god who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." Gallileo Galilei
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." - Judy Garland
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Mandatory Counseling BEFORE Getting Pregnant
I was thinking about abortion, choice, life, all that today - I got drawn into a debate on this major anti-choice website. I usually try to avoid it - trying to reason with many of the commenters on sites like that is like banging your head against a wall. Mainly cause they twist what I'm saying and are really talented at doing so. Anyway...one of the things that came up was laws about mandatory counseling before an abortion. Personally, making sure a woman knows everything isn't a problem - what's a problem is the wait-period...and assuming that women don't ALREADY know these things or WON'T ASK or something....but still. I was thinking of that and then thought that perhaps, before a woman gets pregnant - or starts trying- there should be mandatory counseling about the risks of pregnancy. So I looked them up. Some I already knew, some are really rare, etc. But anyway - I thought I'd post a list. I think women should know everything they need before they decide to try for a pregnancy. (By the way, I've been thinking about the whole pregnancy thing for awhile now and even with all these risks, I STILL want to try eventually...I wonder what that says about the whole mandatory counseling thing, other than that's it's an inconvenience? Just a spare thought)....
Sorry for the wall of text:
Normal, frequent, or expectable side effects of pregnancy:
exhaustion, altered appetite and senses of taste and smell, nausea and vomiting, heartburn and indigestion, weight gain, dizziness and light-headedness, bloating, swelling, fluid retention, hemmorhoids, cramps, yeast infections, congestion, bloody nose, acne and mild skin disorders, skin discolorations, mild to severe backache and strain, increased headaches, difficulty sleeping and discomfort while sleeping, increased urination and incontinence, bleeding gums, pica, breast pain and discharge, swelling of joint and join pain, leg cramps, difficulty sitting, inability to take regular medications, shortness of breath, higher blood pressure, hair loss, tendency to anemia, curtailment of ability to participate in some sports and activities, infection including from serious and potentially fatal disease (immune suppression during pregnancy) extreme pain on delivery! hormonal mood changes, including normal post-partum depression, continued post-partum exhaustion and recovery period (especially for c-sections)
Normal, expectable or frequent PERMANENT side effects of pregnancy:
stretch marks, loose skin, permanent weight gain or redistribution, abdominal and vaginal muscle weakness, pelvic floor disorder, changes to breasts, varicose veins, scarring from episiotomy or c-section, other pemanent aesthetic changes to the body, increased proclivity for hemmorhoids, loss of dental and bone calcium (cavities and osteoporosis)
Occasional complication and side effects:
spousal/partner abuse, hyperemesis gravidarum, temporary and permanent back injury, severe scarring requiring later surgery (especially after multiple pregnancies), dropped uterus (especially after multiple pregnancies) pre-eclampsia, eclampsia, gestational diabetes, placenta previa, anemia, thrombocytopenic purpura, severe cramping, embolism, medical disability requiring full bed-rest, diastasis recti and torn abdominal muscles, mitral valve stenosis, serious infection and disease, ectopic pregnancy (risk of death) broken bones, hemorrhage, delivery complication, refractory gastroesophageal reflux disease, aggravation of pre-pregnancy diseases and conditions, severe post-partum depression and psychosis, ovarian cancer( from fertility treatments) coronary and cardiovascular disease (6 plus pregnancies)
Less common complications:
peripartum cardiomyopathy, cardiopulmonary arrest, magnesium toxicity, severe hypoxemia/acidosis, massive embolism, increased intracranial pressure, brainstem infarction, molar pregnancy, gestational trophoblastic disease, malignant arrhythmia, circulatory collapse, placental abruption, obstetric fistula
More permanent side effects:
future infertility, permanent disability, death.
Sorry for the wall of text:
Normal, frequent, or expectable side effects of pregnancy:
exhaustion, altered appetite and senses of taste and smell, nausea and vomiting, heartburn and indigestion, weight gain, dizziness and light-headedness, bloating, swelling, fluid retention, hemmorhoids, cramps, yeast infections, congestion, bloody nose, acne and mild skin disorders, skin discolorations, mild to severe backache and strain, increased headaches, difficulty sleeping and discomfort while sleeping, increased urination and incontinence, bleeding gums, pica, breast pain and discharge, swelling of joint and join pain, leg cramps, difficulty sitting, inability to take regular medications, shortness of breath, higher blood pressure, hair loss, tendency to anemia, curtailment of ability to participate in some sports and activities, infection including from serious and potentially fatal disease (immune suppression during pregnancy) extreme pain on delivery! hormonal mood changes, including normal post-partum depression, continued post-partum exhaustion and recovery period (especially for c-sections)
Normal, expectable or frequent PERMANENT side effects of pregnancy:
stretch marks, loose skin, permanent weight gain or redistribution, abdominal and vaginal muscle weakness, pelvic floor disorder, changes to breasts, varicose veins, scarring from episiotomy or c-section, other pemanent aesthetic changes to the body, increased proclivity for hemmorhoids, loss of dental and bone calcium (cavities and osteoporosis)
Occasional complication and side effects:
spousal/partner abuse, hyperemesis gravidarum, temporary and permanent back injury, severe scarring requiring later surgery (especially after multiple pregnancies), dropped uterus (especially after multiple pregnancies) pre-eclampsia, eclampsia, gestational diabetes, placenta previa, anemia, thrombocytopenic purpura, severe cramping, embolism, medical disability requiring full bed-rest, diastasis recti and torn abdominal muscles, mitral valve stenosis, serious infection and disease, ectopic pregnancy (risk of death) broken bones, hemorrhage, delivery complication, refractory gastroesophageal reflux disease, aggravation of pre-pregnancy diseases and conditions, severe post-partum depression and psychosis, ovarian cancer( from fertility treatments) coronary and cardiovascular disease (6 plus pregnancies)
Less common complications:
peripartum cardiomyopathy, cardiopulmonary arrest, magnesium toxicity, severe hypoxemia/acidosis, massive embolism, increased intracranial pressure, brainstem infarction, molar pregnancy, gestational trophoblastic disease, malignant arrhythmia, circulatory collapse, placental abruption, obstetric fistula
More permanent side effects:
future infertility, permanent disability, death.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Random Thoughts
I read this very interesting opinion in the New York Times the other day; the guy was arguing that Republicans are basically voting against anything Obama or the Democrats write (bill-wise, etc.) merely because of a form of sour grapes - ie. because Obama likes it, than it's clearly bad - even if it's something that might be good for the country. I thought it was an interesting idea. I mean, politics is messy and requires compromise, something that a lot of people have trouble with, even me, when it comes to certain things/issues. But compromise also requires BOTH sides to be willing to discuss, and debate, and argue the merits of their idea and then come to a conclusion that either makes both sides NOT want to vomit, or at least that both sides than say, okay, this is the best we can do. But if the Republicans (and even Democrats, I'm not saying it's only one party) just say no outright merely because Obama is promoting it, that means our government isn't really working. I think that's sad. I realize that a lot of people are firmly against some things: healthcare, taxes, the war, etc. or for some things....but well, you can't always get your way. Aren't we all supposed to have learned that in kindergarten?
My job is going really awesome. I absolutely love being a children's librarian - although I am working a lot of hours in circulation. But I think that's good, because I get to meet a lot of people and start to know familiar faces. Always important for someone dealing with the public.
I'm doing a lot of research and reading in preparation for writing. Some of my favorite authors (the ones that are alive and can give advice) say that writing about what you're interested in and would like to read is the best way to finish. So I'm taking their advice and have started on a campaign of reading lots of nonfiction and finding out about things. It's kinda fun actually. Normally, I read a lot of fiction - and I'm still doing that. But I'd forgotten how much fun it is to just learn and read about things for no particular reason: it's not for class, or research for a paper, or a presentation. It's just cause I think it'd be cool to learn more about say, architecture or hauntings....
N and I have been looking at houses lately - a lot of the ones we like (shocker!) are out of our price range...but then, we're pretty picky and we want something we'll really love, not just something that fits for right now. Of course, we're not quite needing a house, but we wanted to get started on our research and find out what's out there, the prices and what we can get for that, all that fun stuff.
Also, I just read this great story - definitely an example of free-range parenting (you know, the non-controlling, helicopter parenting so prevalent today) and I just loved it. Thought I'd share, in case none of you saw it.
see the story here
My job is going really awesome. I absolutely love being a children's librarian - although I am working a lot of hours in circulation. But I think that's good, because I get to meet a lot of people and start to know familiar faces. Always important for someone dealing with the public.
I'm doing a lot of research and reading in preparation for writing. Some of my favorite authors (the ones that are alive and can give advice) say that writing about what you're interested in and would like to read is the best way to finish. So I'm taking their advice and have started on a campaign of reading lots of nonfiction and finding out about things. It's kinda fun actually. Normally, I read a lot of fiction - and I'm still doing that. But I'd forgotten how much fun it is to just learn and read about things for no particular reason: it's not for class, or research for a paper, or a presentation. It's just cause I think it'd be cool to learn more about say, architecture or hauntings....
N and I have been looking at houses lately - a lot of the ones we like (shocker!) are out of our price range...but then, we're pretty picky and we want something we'll really love, not just something that fits for right now. Of course, we're not quite needing a house, but we wanted to get started on our research and find out what's out there, the prices and what we can get for that, all that fun stuff.
Also, I just read this great story - definitely an example of free-range parenting (you know, the non-controlling, helicopter parenting so prevalent today) and I just loved it. Thought I'd share, in case none of you saw it.
see the story here
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Something
I am inspired by Kristi (and so excited that she posted) so I thought I'd post too. I have a lot of things happening in my life: I'm graduating, I'm moving, I'm starting a new job, and of course, Nick and I have great news!
1) I can't wait to be back in Iowa: this last year has been a lot harder than I thought!
2) I really do wish I had a million dollars. I have to be very specific: I want a million dollars, or else I want to be a multi-billionaire. So I'm aiming low with my wish.
3) I miss living close to girl friends...I don't think I'm as good at making close friends as I used to be, or else I'm just very, very particular.
4) Trying to keep up with politics and the issues I'm interested in is a lot harder now that I am packing, organizing, moving, starting a new job, and graduating. I'm lucky to catch up on Jon Stewart!
1) I can't wait to be back in Iowa: this last year has been a lot harder than I thought!
2) I really do wish I had a million dollars. I have to be very specific: I want a million dollars, or else I want to be a multi-billionaire. So I'm aiming low with my wish.
3) I miss living close to girl friends...I don't think I'm as good at making close friends as I used to be, or else I'm just very, very particular.
4) Trying to keep up with politics and the issues I'm interested in is a lot harder now that I am packing, organizing, moving, starting a new job, and graduating. I'm lucky to catch up on Jon Stewart!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Dave Barry
College is basically a bunch of rooms where you sit for roughly two thousand hours and try to memorize things. The two thousand hours are spread out over four years; you spend the rest of the time sleeping and trying to get dates.
Basically, you learn two kinds of things in college:
1. Things you will need to know in later life (two hours).
2. Things you will not need to know in later life (1,998 hours).
These are the things you learn in classes whose names end in -ology, -osophy, -istry, -ics, and so on. The idea is, you memorize these things, then write them down in little exam books, then forget them. If you fail to forget them, you become a professor and have to stay in college for the rest of your life.
It's very difficult to forget everything. For example, when I was in college, I had to memorize -- don't ask me why -- the names of three metaphysical poets other than John Donne. I have managed to forget one of them, but I still remember that the other two were named Vaughan and Crashaw. Sometimes, when I'm trying to remember something important like whether my wife told me to get tuna packed in oil or tuna packed in water, Vaughan and Crashaw just pop up in my mind, right there in the supermarket. It's a terrible waste of brain cells.
After you've been in college for a year or so, you're supposed to choose a major, which is the subject you intend to memorize and forget the most things about. Here is a very important piece of advice: be sure to choose a major that does not involve Known Facts and Right Answers. This means you must not major in mathematics, physics, biology, or chemistry, because these subjects involve actual facts. If, for example, you major in mathematics, you're going to wander into class one day and the professor will say: "Define the cosine integer of the quadrant of a rhomboid binary axis, and extrapolate your result to five significant vertices." If you don't come up with exactly the answer the professor has in mind, you fail. The same is true of chemistry: if you write in your exam book that carbon and hydrogen combine to form oak, your professor will flunk you. He wants you to come up with the same answer he and all the other chemists have agreed on.
Scientists are extremely snotty about this.
So you should major in subjects like English, philosophy, psychology, and sociology -- subjects in which nobody really understands what anybody else is talking about, and which involve virtually no actual facts. I attended classes in all these subjects, so I'll give you a quick overview of each:
ENGLISH: This involves writing papers about long books you have read little snippets of just before class. Here is a tip on how to get good grades on your English papers: Never say anything about a book that anybody with any common sense would say. For example, suppose you are studying Moby-Dick. Anybody with any common sense would say that Moby-Dick is a big white whale, since the characters in the book refer to it as a big white whale roughly eleven thousand times. So in your paper, you say Moby-Dick is actually the Republic of Ireland.
Your professor, who is sick to death of reading papers and never liked Moby-Dick anyway, will think you are enormously creative. If you can regularly come up with lunatic interpretations of simple stories, you should major in English.
PHILOSOPHY: Basically, this involves sitting in a room and deciding there is no such thing as reality and then going to lunch. You should major in philosophy if you plan to take a lot of drugs.
PSYCHOLOGY: This involves talking about rats and dreams. Psychologists are obsessed with rats and dreams. I once spent an entire semester training a rat to punch little buttons in a certain sequence, then training my roommate to do the same thing. The rat learned much faster. My roommate is now a doctor. If you like rats or dreams, and above all if you dream about rats, you should major in psychology.
SOCIOLOGY: For sheer lack of intelligibility, sociology is far and away the number one subject. I sat through hundreds of hours of sociology courses, and read gobs of sociology writing, and I never once heard or read a coherent statement. This is because sociologists want to be considered scientists, so they spend most of their time translating simple, obvious observations into scientific-sounding code. If you plan to major in sociology, you'll have to learn to do the same thing. For example, suppose you have observed that children cry when they fall down. You should write: "Methodological observation of the sociometrical behavior tendencies of prematurated isolates indicates that a casual relationship exists between groundward tropism and lachrimatory, or 'crying,' behavior forms." If you can keep this up for fifty or sixty pages, you will get a large government grant.
Basically, you learn two kinds of things in college:
1. Things you will need to know in later life (two hours).
2. Things you will not need to know in later life (1,998 hours).
These are the things you learn in classes whose names end in -ology, -osophy, -istry, -ics, and so on. The idea is, you memorize these things, then write them down in little exam books, then forget them. If you fail to forget them, you become a professor and have to stay in college for the rest of your life.
It's very difficult to forget everything. For example, when I was in college, I had to memorize -- don't ask me why -- the names of three metaphysical poets other than John Donne. I have managed to forget one of them, but I still remember that the other two were named Vaughan and Crashaw. Sometimes, when I'm trying to remember something important like whether my wife told me to get tuna packed in oil or tuna packed in water, Vaughan and Crashaw just pop up in my mind, right there in the supermarket. It's a terrible waste of brain cells.
After you've been in college for a year or so, you're supposed to choose a major, which is the subject you intend to memorize and forget the most things about. Here is a very important piece of advice: be sure to choose a major that does not involve Known Facts and Right Answers. This means you must not major in mathematics, physics, biology, or chemistry, because these subjects involve actual facts. If, for example, you major in mathematics, you're going to wander into class one day and the professor will say: "Define the cosine integer of the quadrant of a rhomboid binary axis, and extrapolate your result to five significant vertices." If you don't come up with exactly the answer the professor has in mind, you fail. The same is true of chemistry: if you write in your exam book that carbon and hydrogen combine to form oak, your professor will flunk you. He wants you to come up with the same answer he and all the other chemists have agreed on.
Scientists are extremely snotty about this.
So you should major in subjects like English, philosophy, psychology, and sociology -- subjects in which nobody really understands what anybody else is talking about, and which involve virtually no actual facts. I attended classes in all these subjects, so I'll give you a quick overview of each:
ENGLISH: This involves writing papers about long books you have read little snippets of just before class. Here is a tip on how to get good grades on your English papers: Never say anything about a book that anybody with any common sense would say. For example, suppose you are studying Moby-Dick. Anybody with any common sense would say that Moby-Dick is a big white whale, since the characters in the book refer to it as a big white whale roughly eleven thousand times. So in your paper, you say Moby-Dick is actually the Republic of Ireland.
Your professor, who is sick to death of reading papers and never liked Moby-Dick anyway, will think you are enormously creative. If you can regularly come up with lunatic interpretations of simple stories, you should major in English.
PHILOSOPHY: Basically, this involves sitting in a room and deciding there is no such thing as reality and then going to lunch. You should major in philosophy if you plan to take a lot of drugs.
PSYCHOLOGY: This involves talking about rats and dreams. Psychologists are obsessed with rats and dreams. I once spent an entire semester training a rat to punch little buttons in a certain sequence, then training my roommate to do the same thing. The rat learned much faster. My roommate is now a doctor. If you like rats or dreams, and above all if you dream about rats, you should major in psychology.
SOCIOLOGY: For sheer lack of intelligibility, sociology is far and away the number one subject. I sat through hundreds of hours of sociology courses, and read gobs of sociology writing, and I never once heard or read a coherent statement. This is because sociologists want to be considered scientists, so they spend most of their time translating simple, obvious observations into scientific-sounding code. If you plan to major in sociology, you'll have to learn to do the same thing. For example, suppose you have observed that children cry when they fall down. You should write: "Methodological observation of the sociometrical behavior tendencies of prematurated isolates indicates that a casual relationship exists between groundward tropism and lachrimatory, or 'crying,' behavior forms." If you can keep this up for fifty or sixty pages, you will get a large government grant.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)