And let's all just thank nature and/or whatever deity you believe in for the end of all that heat!! Crap it was hot this summer. Things so far are rather good, thank you for asking. I just went to the doctor today for a four-week prenatal exam. I'm already at 25 weeks. Remember when I was complaining about how slow things were going? Yeah, I think that came back to bite me in the butt. Not that I'm complaining now. Anyway, everything looks good. I've gained 7 1/2 lbs. in the four weeks since my last appointment, so clearly MCO is getting fed. N. says that it must all be belly, because from behind I don't look pregnant. He might just be saying that so I don't cry, but I don't think so. Anyway, everything looks good. Next visit is in 3 1/2 weeks and that's when I get my yummy (or disgusting) glucose screening, along with my regular check-up.
It's also when we have our fourth ultrasound. In this case, it's not just us checking for abnormalities - the doctor wants to check to see if my placenta has moved: in the mid-semester ultrasound, we found out it was in front (or anterior) and low-lying. We're hoping it will have moved up, since I really don't want to have a C-section. Like, really, really, don't want a C-section! But I'm trying not to worry about that.
I am doing more at work (and wish I had my own desk - Ha!) and that's really fun. So far, I've come up with two programs - one for parents and one for kids, that are both inexpensive and not too draining. I have to start planning the story times for next year, especially the ones that will happen when I'm on maternity leave. This week, we're focusing on Banned Books week. Then I'll work on Halloween displays and such. I'm also going to be collaborating with a school librarian and going on school visits to let kids know what resources we have at the public library.
Basically, things are pretty awesome right now.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Paranoia and Book Banning
I got all paranoid today that maybe I was talking too much about pregnancy, parenting, and all that. I never wanted to be THAT woman who can't shut up about herself. Obviously, because I'm talking about it now I'm failing again. But I swear, this post won't all be about the pregnancy, because other than the fact that I'm now craving Cheetos and root beer (caffeine free, made with real sugar, what's not to love?) there really isn't anything new. Well, except that I feel HUGE. That I'm feeling her kick a lot and I think she's learning to kick my bladder, ON PURPOSE, so that I have to get out of bed more often at night. But there really isn't anything new, so I'll settle for talking about all the little things I'm experiencing with the bestie or the husband and go on for now.
We're getting ready for Banned Books week here at the library. I've already started working on the list of kids books to display - the ones that have been challenged. And I realized that maybe my faithful readers (reader?) might like to see some of the ones on the list that people have challenged. Many have been the attempts of banning in schools not public libraries, but there's a fair number that have been challenged in general and I am always surprised because I've never actually had anyone come up to me and complain, even though I try to be prepared for something like that (I live in Kansas, after all). So, here's the list I have (it is by no means complete, I'm just choosing five random titles):
1)Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: Mark Twain
2)The Lorax: Dr. Seuss
3)A Light in the Attic: Shel Silverstein
4)Harry Potter: J.K. Rowling
5)A Wrinkle in Time: Madeleine L'Engele
So, new post...light on the pregnancy stuff. Better or no?
We're getting ready for Banned Books week here at the library. I've already started working on the list of kids books to display - the ones that have been challenged. And I realized that maybe my faithful readers (reader?) might like to see some of the ones on the list that people have challenged. Many have been the attempts of banning in schools not public libraries, but there's a fair number that have been challenged in general and I am always surprised because I've never actually had anyone come up to me and complain, even though I try to be prepared for something like that (I live in Kansas, after all). So, here's the list I have (it is by no means complete, I'm just choosing five random titles):
1)Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: Mark Twain
2)The Lorax: Dr. Seuss
3)A Light in the Attic: Shel Silverstein
4)Harry Potter: J.K. Rowling
5)A Wrinkle in Time: Madeleine L'Engele
So, new post...light on the pregnancy stuff. Better or no?
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
It IS September, and OHMYGOD I Didn't Post
Welcome to the second week of September. I really wanted to post, I did. But I forgot and then got lazy. Will you forgive me?
So here's something fun that I obsess over every. single. day. Pregnancy math. By calendar months (4 weeks each month) I am 2 weeks away from being 6 months pregnant. BUT, each month is actually measured differently, so technically I'm 5 months pregnant - or rather, I'm IN my fifth month.
Then, I get to the fun stuff....in 17 weeks, I will be finished. In 14 weeks, I will be considered full-term. In 5 weeks, there is a 9 out of 10 chance that if I went into labor, the baby could survive albeit with tons of medical intervention. If I do this in months - ie. 4 months, 3 1/2 months - it sounds a lot longer until I'm all full-term and stuff. That must be why people measure pregnancy in weeks.
I also obsess over what to take to the hospital. What I will eat when I actually deliver the girl. What people will think about whatever name we choose. When will I actually go into labor? All of this, every day, and I'm only what? halfway through the second trimester. Oh, deity help me!
This past weekend I actually had off because it was Labor Day weekend. Oh unions, how I love you. N. and I went to Lawrence on Sunday and had cheeseburgers and really yummy fries and extremely yummy root beer. Preferred the cheeseburger I get at Free State and the fries I got at this place (the name escapes me). But oh, yum, the root beer....*drool*...
We went to the zoo on Monday. The temperature was perfect. Thank goodness for fall temperatures. I can actually sleep more comfortably. I can walk again, thus, hopefully, preventing me from turning into an actual cow instead of just preparing to be milked (HA!) And now, I am at work. Clearly, I am working hard - I hope you readers are grateful for my boredom and love of you that I am blogging instead of say, shelving.
And there - my first, and hopefully not only, September post.
So here's something fun that I obsess over every. single. day. Pregnancy math. By calendar months (4 weeks each month) I am 2 weeks away from being 6 months pregnant. BUT, each month is actually measured differently, so technically I'm 5 months pregnant - or rather, I'm IN my fifth month.
Then, I get to the fun stuff....in 17 weeks, I will be finished. In 14 weeks, I will be considered full-term. In 5 weeks, there is a 9 out of 10 chance that if I went into labor, the baby could survive albeit with tons of medical intervention. If I do this in months - ie. 4 months, 3 1/2 months - it sounds a lot longer until I'm all full-term and stuff. That must be why people measure pregnancy in weeks.
I also obsess over what to take to the hospital. What I will eat when I actually deliver the girl. What people will think about whatever name we choose. When will I actually go into labor? All of this, every day, and I'm only what? halfway through the second trimester. Oh, deity help me!
This past weekend I actually had off because it was Labor Day weekend. Oh unions, how I love you. N. and I went to Lawrence on Sunday and had cheeseburgers and really yummy fries and extremely yummy root beer. Preferred the cheeseburger I get at Free State and the fries I got at this place (the name escapes me). But oh, yum, the root beer....*drool*...
We went to the zoo on Monday. The temperature was perfect. Thank goodness for fall temperatures. I can actually sleep more comfortably. I can walk again, thus, hopefully, preventing me from turning into an actual cow instead of just preparing to be milked (HA!) And now, I am at work. Clearly, I am working hard - I hope you readers are grateful for my boredom and love of you that I am blogging instead of say, shelving.
And there - my first, and hopefully not only, September post.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
It's Almost September
What a boring title...but I honestly couldn't think of anything else. I'm looking forward to the (hopefully) cooler weather, because now that I'm getting bigger and feeling more extreme temperatures, this heat is really starting to bother me. Plus, it'll be nice to go for walks outside without worrying so much about overheating and feeling horrible.
Doctor's appointment went well, I'm gaining weight right on schedule (and luckily not too much so far!), heartbeat was strong, and I only had one complaint about backaches. We reviewed the ultrasound results and found out some semi-worrying news, but only because I'm neurotic lately. The ultrasound itself was great - we've taken every test we could for any anomalies and abnormalities, so we weren't expecting anything like that. But the placenta is anterior (which is why I haven't been feeling a lot, or any, movement/kicks yet) and it's also very low. So far, my doctor isn't worried: she said it's common and will probably move as I get bigger. But it means good news: we get to have another ultrasound in about 8 weeks! We're definitely getting a good collection of sonograms for the baby book.
We're also really starting to talk about parenting and decisions to make: names to choose, for example. Our policy on tv (none until the age of 18 months or so and a strict policy even after that), bedtimes, picky eating (I hope we don't have one but it's pretty probable), traveling (where we want to take her on vacations), babysitters and daycare, school (Montessori if we can afford it), vaccinations and pediatricians (like we'd endanger society by NOT doing vaccinations or listening to our pediatrician) etc. I'm starting a list of parenting books to read or re-read: Parenting Beyond Belief, Happiest Baby on the Block, Dr. Sears' books, etc. I've even got recommendations from friends and even perfect strangers! LOL...
We're both looking forward to moving out in November to our own place and getting a nursery ready and packing for the hospital. We have childbirth class to look forward to and baby showers too. I think both sides of the family are getting more excited - just like we are.
Hopefully, any September posts will be less about pregnancy and more about, well, who knows. But I am glad I've started trying to keep up with my blog again.
Doctor's appointment went well, I'm gaining weight right on schedule (and luckily not too much so far!), heartbeat was strong, and I only had one complaint about backaches. We reviewed the ultrasound results and found out some semi-worrying news, but only because I'm neurotic lately. The ultrasound itself was great - we've taken every test we could for any anomalies and abnormalities, so we weren't expecting anything like that. But the placenta is anterior (which is why I haven't been feeling a lot, or any, movement/kicks yet) and it's also very low. So far, my doctor isn't worried: she said it's common and will probably move as I get bigger. But it means good news: we get to have another ultrasound in about 8 weeks! We're definitely getting a good collection of sonograms for the baby book.
We're also really starting to talk about parenting and decisions to make: names to choose, for example. Our policy on tv (none until the age of 18 months or so and a strict policy even after that), bedtimes, picky eating (I hope we don't have one but it's pretty probable), traveling (where we want to take her on vacations), babysitters and daycare, school (Montessori if we can afford it), vaccinations and pediatricians (like we'd endanger society by NOT doing vaccinations or listening to our pediatrician) etc. I'm starting a list of parenting books to read or re-read: Parenting Beyond Belief, Happiest Baby on the Block, Dr. Sears' books, etc. I've even got recommendations from friends and even perfect strangers! LOL...
We're both looking forward to moving out in November to our own place and getting a nursery ready and packing for the hospital. We have childbirth class to look forward to and baby showers too. I think both sides of the family are getting more excited - just like we are.
Hopefully, any September posts will be less about pregnancy and more about, well, who knows. But I am glad I've started trying to keep up with my blog again.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Woes of Adulthood
I made a comment a few weeks, maybe a month ago. Being an adult is not as fun as I thought it would be when I was six. Or ten. Or 16. Granted, eventually I learned that I would have to go to school to get a degree, work hard, etc. I was prepared, by 16, of that concept. But all the other things that nothing but life can prepare you for - not just work, but the hours you work (I don't have weekends off and my schedule is not 9-5 - although I chose that, being in the field I love) the pay you get (less than I thought, considering the vital service I do and the fact that we are supposed to be such a prosperous country) all the things you need (or want) that takes more money than you make (and no, I'm not talking about my own jet or exotic vacations...well, okay, maybe the exotic vacations). Bills. And figuring out where to live. And I'm supposed to know how to do all this so that I can actually be a parent!!! I don't think I know enough about being a grown-up to you know, be the actual grown-up. I sometimes still can't believe I'm no longer in high school. Except I look older, bigger, and I don't get up at 6 am every morning to make sure my hair looks good (I don't care anymore).
I've learned though, through mistakes (hard ones to correct) and hopefully that will help in the long run. I'm still young, and so there's time to find that perfect house/condo/apartment. There's still time to save up enough money to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro and swim with dolphins. And adulthood isn't horrible - I mean, I get to have a baby - I'll have one in less than a year! I get to eat ice cream or fast food for lunch if I want to (but sadly, my parents have sort of spoiled that for me, because I end up feeling guilty and then want salad or have a stomachache and then they turn out to be right *the horror!!!*).
Now, does anyone have any ways I can make more money from just sitting on my computer, writing a blog? Or something?
I've learned though, through mistakes (hard ones to correct) and hopefully that will help in the long run. I'm still young, and so there's time to find that perfect house/condo/apartment. There's still time to save up enough money to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro and swim with dolphins. And adulthood isn't horrible - I mean, I get to have a baby - I'll have one in less than a year! I get to eat ice cream or fast food for lunch if I want to (but sadly, my parents have sort of spoiled that for me, because I end up feeling guilty and then want salad or have a stomachache and then they turn out to be right *the horror!!!*).
Now, does anyone have any ways I can make more money from just sitting on my computer, writing a blog? Or something?
Thursday, August 11, 2011
It's A........!!!!!!!!!
Most of you read Facebook posts more often than blogs anymore. But I'm still posting, because this is one of the ways that I can chronicle my pregnancy without having to resort to keeping a journal (I wish I could, but even with time I still don't do it. Call me lazy or inconsistent, I just can't seem to keep one up continuously).
This morning N. and I headed to the doctor's office for the mid-pregnancy sonogram. We've had all the tests they offer (NT and maternal serum testing), including two other sonograms: one at my first prenatal appointment, very quickly just to see if my calculated due date was correct (it was). Then another at 13 weeks (the NT) to check for increased fluid at the back of the neck.
Both were normal and healthy. And then today was the big day - the day they measured everything, checked the amniotic fluid, and the organs, and we got even more pictures and found out the sex.
It's a GIRL!!!!! We're both excited and everything looks healthy. So, in another 21 weeks I will be the mother of a baby girl. I know the family, and close friends, are excited - even if they guessed boy. And at this point we're just in the growing bigger stage.
I can't seem to drink enough milk or eat enough cheese. Last night I craved fish (particularly smoked salmon, which is off limits, but still sounded so good). I'm starting to really show which is nice. And I'm still waiting for movement or a kick. The sonographer said she was moving like crazy - and we could see some of it - but so far I haven't felt anything.
The name will still be a surprise. And I'm looking forward to hearing all the guesses on due dates. Friends are already planning baby showers and mommy-pampering showers.
And I've told my boss and I'm so, so lucky to be working where I am. Libraries are usually more family-friendly than other places to work, but she was so excited for me (even though I haven't worked there that long) and she's going to work with me about scheduling and maternity leave so I don't feel rushed back to work or anything like that. All in all, it's been a pretty good week. Except for a few hormonal outbreaks of emotion. Which I presume is normal.
Anyway, that's the update. I am so excited for this second half of pregnancy. It's finally starting to really sink in that I'm going to be a mom. I just hope I do a good job.
This morning N. and I headed to the doctor's office for the mid-pregnancy sonogram. We've had all the tests they offer (NT and maternal serum testing), including two other sonograms: one at my first prenatal appointment, very quickly just to see if my calculated due date was correct (it was). Then another at 13 weeks (the NT) to check for increased fluid at the back of the neck.
Both were normal and healthy. And then today was the big day - the day they measured everything, checked the amniotic fluid, and the organs, and we got even more pictures and found out the sex.
It's a GIRL!!!!! We're both excited and everything looks healthy. So, in another 21 weeks I will be the mother of a baby girl. I know the family, and close friends, are excited - even if they guessed boy. And at this point we're just in the growing bigger stage.
I can't seem to drink enough milk or eat enough cheese. Last night I craved fish (particularly smoked salmon, which is off limits, but still sounded so good). I'm starting to really show which is nice. And I'm still waiting for movement or a kick. The sonographer said she was moving like crazy - and we could see some of it - but so far I haven't felt anything.
The name will still be a surprise. And I'm looking forward to hearing all the guesses on due dates. Friends are already planning baby showers and mommy-pampering showers.
And I've told my boss and I'm so, so lucky to be working where I am. Libraries are usually more family-friendly than other places to work, but she was so excited for me (even though I haven't worked there that long) and she's going to work with me about scheduling and maternity leave so I don't feel rushed back to work or anything like that. All in all, it's been a pretty good week. Except for a few hormonal outbreaks of emotion. Which I presume is normal.
Anyway, that's the update. I am so excited for this second half of pregnancy. It's finally starting to really sink in that I'm going to be a mom. I just hope I do a good job.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
July Closing Post
Summer, it's winding down: school starts in two-three weeks, summer library programs are ending, my vacation is over. I'm ready for fall, to be honest, and not just because being pregnant in 111 degree temperatures is unpleasant. But it is my favorite season.
So let's see....some things that have happened:
1) South Dakota vacation! - Let's face it, it was awesome. My niece Alyssa tagged along, which gave us an extra driver and conversational partner. The first day we took it easy driving and then saw the Buffalo Bill Ranch in North Platte, Nebraska. It was closed due to flooding, but we walked around a bit and then we saw the Golden Spike where the Transcontinental Railroads met. My sister and her fiance and their boys, my dad and stepmom, and the three of us had a nice meet-up and the new future grandparents started with the spoiling: the little Grandavocado got some outfits and a cute toy. We all went to dinner. It was great.
Day two was spent driving and then we got into South Dakota and unpacked the car. We all saw Grandma Regan, which was great because she just looks so much better than she did and was doing so well. The evening was spend relaxing together at the cabins.
Day three was a free day: we all split up and saw different things. Nick, Alyssa, and I drove through Custer State Park, did some hiking, and saw a herd of bison up close and personal - close enough to touch. Then we spend the afternoon at the lake with relatives and I floated around a cool, clear lake on an inner tube.
Day four we spent the day in Spearfish Canyon, hiking up to Roughlock Falls. We had lunch with Grandma and the rest of the relatives - almost everyone - at the Latchstring Inn. Then we became tourists and walked a bit around Deadwood.
Day five was wonderful - it started out at about 50 degrees (we needed sweatshirts) and spend the day at the park, walking in freezing cold water and watching the kids build a dam, go tubing down the creek, and throwing rocks. Grandma managed to spend quite a bit of time there with everyone - it was the true family reunion day.
We spent the last day just hanging out together, relaxing, and talking. Quite frankly, everything went too fast. We spent Monday driving all day which was terribly exhausting.
So there - a not so quick rundown (not that anyone reads this anymore anyway...)
I had a doctor's appointment today and scheduled the diagnostic ultrasound. Heard the grandfruit's heartbeat. Everything is healthy for me and for the fruit. We'll know in two weeks how the growth is going, and hopefully find out the sex. The gambling going on should subside until we get to the due date countdown. Ha!
So let's see....some things that have happened:
1) South Dakota vacation! - Let's face it, it was awesome. My niece Alyssa tagged along, which gave us an extra driver and conversational partner. The first day we took it easy driving and then saw the Buffalo Bill Ranch in North Platte, Nebraska. It was closed due to flooding, but we walked around a bit and then we saw the Golden Spike where the Transcontinental Railroads met. My sister and her fiance and their boys, my dad and stepmom, and the three of us had a nice meet-up and the new future grandparents started with the spoiling: the little Grandavocado got some outfits and a cute toy. We all went to dinner. It was great.
Day two was spent driving and then we got into South Dakota and unpacked the car. We all saw Grandma Regan, which was great because she just looks so much better than she did and was doing so well. The evening was spend relaxing together at the cabins.
Day three was a free day: we all split up and saw different things. Nick, Alyssa, and I drove through Custer State Park, did some hiking, and saw a herd of bison up close and personal - close enough to touch. Then we spend the afternoon at the lake with relatives and I floated around a cool, clear lake on an inner tube.
Day four we spent the day in Spearfish Canyon, hiking up to Roughlock Falls. We had lunch with Grandma and the rest of the relatives - almost everyone - at the Latchstring Inn. Then we became tourists and walked a bit around Deadwood.
Day five was wonderful - it started out at about 50 degrees (we needed sweatshirts) and spend the day at the park, walking in freezing cold water and watching the kids build a dam, go tubing down the creek, and throwing rocks. Grandma managed to spend quite a bit of time there with everyone - it was the true family reunion day.
We spent the last day just hanging out together, relaxing, and talking. Quite frankly, everything went too fast. We spent Monday driving all day which was terribly exhausting.
So there - a not so quick rundown (not that anyone reads this anymore anyway...)
I had a doctor's appointment today and scheduled the diagnostic ultrasound. Heard the grandfruit's heartbeat. Everything is healthy for me and for the fruit. We'll know in two weeks how the growth is going, and hopefully find out the sex. The gambling going on should subside until we get to the due date countdown. Ha!
Thursday, July 07, 2011
I Am So Sad
That I didn't get any comments. I think, thanks to Facebook, that blogs have sort of slipped by the wayside. Oh well. I'll still keep writing. Maybe I'll accidentally say something controversial and people will start yelling again.
My sister-in-law has spurred me on and so I've started baby registries at Target and Babies 'R Us. Since we don't know the sex yet, it's a big difficult but I'm working on neutral things anyway, for the future. Other than clothes, I'm hoping to have things be able to work for a boy OR a girl.
So far, I haven't been craving anything weird but I'm looking forward to the day when I start craving chocolate chip cookies and pickles or something like that. I do miss my chocolate chip cookies. And well, that's really it for my post. I had a day off today and walked around the zoo, which was nice and so fun - I got to pet a baby goat, see a tiger swim, and see the red panda pretty close up. It was nice exercise too, which I am sorely in need of since I know how good that is for me and little bean.
My sister-in-law has spurred me on and so I've started baby registries at Target and Babies 'R Us. Since we don't know the sex yet, it's a big difficult but I'm working on neutral things anyway, for the future. Other than clothes, I'm hoping to have things be able to work for a boy OR a girl.
So far, I haven't been craving anything weird but I'm looking forward to the day when I start craving chocolate chip cookies and pickles or something like that. I do miss my chocolate chip cookies. And well, that's really it for my post. I had a day off today and walked around the zoo, which was nice and so fun - I got to pet a baby goat, see a tiger swim, and see the red panda pretty close up. It was nice exercise too, which I am sorely in need of since I know how good that is for me and little bean.
Saturday, July 02, 2011
Summer of Taking Forever
I'm sure everyone has felt this way at some point or many points in their lives. But this summer seems to be taking freaking FOREVER. Granted, I have a new job and you'd think that with all the hours I'm there it would make time go faster, but amazingly no. Maybe it's because I have so much stuff to look forward to in the future that I'm not enjoying my time now, which is something I really hate doing, but I can't seem to help.
See my list of complaints. Who can help me out? Who wants to sympathize? Anyone. Is anyone still reading this?
1) I'm sick of this heat. Yesterday my car temperature gauge read 111 degrees. And it's barely July.
2) I'm ready for my vacation in South Dakota with my family. I want the attention from everyone and to talk about my little future Regan (and Wyant). I want to have fun with my cousins and their kids and my dad and stepmom. I want to see how my grandma is doing. And I want the cooler temperatures!
3) I'm ready for morning sickness to stop. Only for me, it's more like evening sickness, and sometimes all day nausea. I hate feeling both starving and nauseous at the same time. I hate feeling yucky. And that's the best word for it. Of course, I've just started my first week in the second trimester, so hopefully this will go away pretty quickly.
4) I'm ready to start feeling MCO (the nickname we came up with that fits all the stages: embryo, fetus, baby) move and kick. I'm ready to find out if it is a boy or a girl so I can announce it and get more hugs, and start buying cute little baby clothes and figuring out how we're going to decorate the nursery. And no, I am not really a girly-girl, totally boy kind of person, but I would like to be more prepared - I feel like I'm floundering right now.
5) I've got a movie marathon night planned with Kay, and Beth, and Nate (I hope) again at the end of July or beginning of August. I'm ready to hang out and laugh and talk over movies and feel glad about moving to Kansas (because quite frankly, except for family and friends I am NOT loving this state - and that's a whole other post)
6) I'm ready to move. I love my in-laws but I'm ready for Nick and I to have our own place, even if it's some tiny apartment. I want to put my books up and my couch out and watch tv in my own living room, and cook dinners in my own kitchen, sitting down at a table with my husband.
7)I'm ready for fall. I romanticize fall. I imagine myself, all cutely pregnant, wearing an adorable sweater and hat, walking in falling leaves with my husband. I love Halloween! I want to trick or treat with my nieces and nephews.
8) Holiday season. Why does it take so long to get here and go so fast! Plus, that means we'll be waiting each day for MCO to appear. Taking bets on the date. Enjoying yummy food and family and friends. Presents, and baking, and Christmas lights and music.
And finally, somehow, I'm not enjoying pregnancy as much as I was determined to - I'm finding it an unreal situation that is both awesome and yet strangely slow and fast at the same time and it's freaking me out. I never really romanticized the whole pregnancy period,I've never been one to be like "I can't wait to feel pregnant and experience it" but I always told myself that once I got pregnant I was going to enjoy each freaking moment of it. And there are some I really have enjoyed: telling my family and friends about MCO. Talking about names. Talking about parenting and what we'll be emphasizing and what we don't want to do if we can help it. Seeing how humans develop in the womb, and starting to feel a connection to the future little person, wondering what he/she will be like. Seeing sonograms at the very beginning and at our first diagnostic ultrasound. Worrying about being a good mom (which I think means I'll be okay). But it just doesn't seem real yet.
I'm ready for us to have an actual baby or maybe just for it to seem more real, for the second and third trimesters to get here (I know, I know, it already has- the 2nd anyway). I'm fast-forwarding in my head and not enjoying the moment. So yeah, it's the summer of taking forever. If I had to label it, that's what it would be. And I don't know why I can't just enjoy the moments I have, to be really present.
See my list of complaints. Who can help me out? Who wants to sympathize? Anyone. Is anyone still reading this?
1) I'm sick of this heat. Yesterday my car temperature gauge read 111 degrees. And it's barely July.
2) I'm ready for my vacation in South Dakota with my family. I want the attention from everyone and to talk about my little future Regan (and Wyant). I want to have fun with my cousins and their kids and my dad and stepmom. I want to see how my grandma is doing. And I want the cooler temperatures!
3) I'm ready for morning sickness to stop. Only for me, it's more like evening sickness, and sometimes all day nausea. I hate feeling both starving and nauseous at the same time. I hate feeling yucky. And that's the best word for it. Of course, I've just started my first week in the second trimester, so hopefully this will go away pretty quickly.
4) I'm ready to start feeling MCO (the nickname we came up with that fits all the stages: embryo, fetus, baby) move and kick. I'm ready to find out if it is a boy or a girl so I can announce it and get more hugs, and start buying cute little baby clothes and figuring out how we're going to decorate the nursery. And no, I am not really a girly-girl, totally boy kind of person, but I would like to be more prepared - I feel like I'm floundering right now.
5) I've got a movie marathon night planned with Kay, and Beth, and Nate (I hope) again at the end of July or beginning of August. I'm ready to hang out and laugh and talk over movies and feel glad about moving to Kansas (because quite frankly, except for family and friends I am NOT loving this state - and that's a whole other post)
6) I'm ready to move. I love my in-laws but I'm ready for Nick and I to have our own place, even if it's some tiny apartment. I want to put my books up and my couch out and watch tv in my own living room, and cook dinners in my own kitchen, sitting down at a table with my husband.
7)I'm ready for fall. I romanticize fall. I imagine myself, all cutely pregnant, wearing an adorable sweater and hat, walking in falling leaves with my husband. I love Halloween! I want to trick or treat with my nieces and nephews.
8) Holiday season. Why does it take so long to get here and go so fast! Plus, that means we'll be waiting each day for MCO to appear. Taking bets on the date. Enjoying yummy food and family and friends. Presents, and baking, and Christmas lights and music.
And finally, somehow, I'm not enjoying pregnancy as much as I was determined to - I'm finding it an unreal situation that is both awesome and yet strangely slow and fast at the same time and it's freaking me out. I never really romanticized the whole pregnancy period,I've never been one to be like "I can't wait to feel pregnant and experience it" but I always told myself that once I got pregnant I was going to enjoy each freaking moment of it. And there are some I really have enjoyed: telling my family and friends about MCO. Talking about names. Talking about parenting and what we'll be emphasizing and what we don't want to do if we can help it. Seeing how humans develop in the womb, and starting to feel a connection to the future little person, wondering what he/she will be like. Seeing sonograms at the very beginning and at our first diagnostic ultrasound. Worrying about being a good mom (which I think means I'll be okay). But it just doesn't seem real yet.
I'm ready for us to have an actual baby or maybe just for it to seem more real, for the second and third trimesters to get here (I know, I know, it already has- the 2nd anyway). I'm fast-forwarding in my head and not enjoying the moment. So yeah, it's the summer of taking forever. If I had to label it, that's what it would be. And I don't know why I can't just enjoy the moments I have, to be really present.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
You'll Forgive Me the Long Absence When You Read My Post
Has it really been more than a month since I posted? I haven't even been that busy! It's not like I had a full-time job and kids to take care of, and yet time has gotten away from me. But one of the perks of actually not writing a new post every week means that I have stuff to actually write about - isn't that great, oh loyal and bored readers?
First off, I have a new job. While it's not a perfect position (say, head of youth services with a great salary and awesome benefits) it IS a step in the right direction and I'm so excited about it. I'm going to be working at the Haysville Public Library doing, well, a bunch of stuff: cataloging, circulation, children's librarian duties, etc. It's not a full-time position with benefits, but I'll be learning about every department, getting ideas to improve things and hopefully presenting those ideas, and well, basically, working in my chosen field. I had kind of despaired at getting the chance here in Kansas, so I'm really excited. And nervous too, of course, since my first day is today. I'm just so glad that my persistence paid off, and it's such a nice library and the people seem nice and friendly.
Second off, and in much bigger news: I'm pregnant! The hubby and I tried to wait to tell the news -okay, I said at first I wanted to wait 13 weeks to tell people - about 9 weeks since we found out right away at 4 weeks - but of course, being me, I couldn't. We waited until after I had my first prenatal appointment and learned that everything was progressing just fine and had a quick ultrasound. Then the fun began honestly, because I got to tell my family and he got to tell his.
I went to my dad and stepmom's first, on the pretense of delivering cans (it only sounds weird if you don't know my dad). I'm tricky like that. I handed over the bag and then followed my dad into the kitchen and said, "by the way, I have something to show you." I handed him the sonogram showing my little MCO (multi-celled organism) and he's all "ARE you?!" Then of course, I got hugs and kisses and congratulations and questions about how far along, and due dates, etc. My stepmom guessed just from hearing our conversation and I got hugs again. I think they're excited about being grandparents.
I called my younger sister next, expecting to get voice mail cause she's insanely busy - but I actually got her in person and asked if she wanted to be an aunt again. I am pretty sure hugs were exchanged over the phone, lol, and of course, she's very excited.
And then I got lucky - I called my sister-in-law, and found out that the rest of my siblings: older brother and sister, along with nieces and nephews - were all together. I asked her if she wanted to be an aunt again, and I swear, there was shocked silence and then she was all - "You're on speakerphone, say that again." Which of course, I did - "I was just wondering if you guys would like to be aunts and uncles again?" The excitement came through the phone in screams and congratulations, and it was so much fun, I wish I'd had a camera. My youngest niece came on and told me I didn't have to buy her a birthday present because the cousin-to-be would be enough (her birthday is right around my due date).
I will say, knowing I can call my big sister or sister-in-law and ask them questions about pregnancy and what I will need when the baby comes, and knowing how excited they are is just awesome. Not having my mom around is hard, but since I have them, I know I'll get good advice and answers to questions. Waiting would have been too hard. So the family all knows the good news.
In answer to other questions:
I'm doing well. Yes, I'm nauseous and tired, but I have trouble sleeping at night (weird dreams, restlessness, etc). Nothing set, but it's usually evening sickness and sometimes I just feel queasy all day. I've been fairly lucky though, so far. No vomiting and I can usually head it off with certain foods. I am having cravings (just ask the hubby!) but it's actually kind of nice because they're for healthy things: fruit, smoothies, spinach, cereal and milk. I'm apparently avoiding sugar - including chocolate, except occasionally and coffee and tea both turn my stomach. I'm also completely off caffeine, so no worries about weird developmental problems from that.
Yes, we're going to find out the sex. We don't care either way, we both have a theory (I think it's a boy) and we'll see who's right at 16-20 weeks. The name is a surprise to all - including us, though we have favorites. But no one will know until the birth.
My due date is January 9, but it could be a New Year's baby or even a Christmas baby. Or of course, it could go later, as most of you know. We'll just see. I'm really hoping NOT to go into labor on Christmas eve or Christmas day, though I suppose if I could guarantee that I wouldn't have to buy anyone gifts for this year..... LOL.
First off, I have a new job. While it's not a perfect position (say, head of youth services with a great salary and awesome benefits) it IS a step in the right direction and I'm so excited about it. I'm going to be working at the Haysville Public Library doing, well, a bunch of stuff: cataloging, circulation, children's librarian duties, etc. It's not a full-time position with benefits, but I'll be learning about every department, getting ideas to improve things and hopefully presenting those ideas, and well, basically, working in my chosen field. I had kind of despaired at getting the chance here in Kansas, so I'm really excited. And nervous too, of course, since my first day is today. I'm just so glad that my persistence paid off, and it's such a nice library and the people seem nice and friendly.
Second off, and in much bigger news: I'm pregnant! The hubby and I tried to wait to tell the news -okay, I said at first I wanted to wait 13 weeks to tell people - about 9 weeks since we found out right away at 4 weeks - but of course, being me, I couldn't. We waited until after I had my first prenatal appointment and learned that everything was progressing just fine and had a quick ultrasound. Then the fun began honestly, because I got to tell my family and he got to tell his.
I went to my dad and stepmom's first, on the pretense of delivering cans (it only sounds weird if you don't know my dad). I'm tricky like that. I handed over the bag and then followed my dad into the kitchen and said, "by the way, I have something to show you." I handed him the sonogram showing my little MCO (multi-celled organism) and he's all "ARE you?!" Then of course, I got hugs and kisses and congratulations and questions about how far along, and due dates, etc. My stepmom guessed just from hearing our conversation and I got hugs again. I think they're excited about being grandparents.
I called my younger sister next, expecting to get voice mail cause she's insanely busy - but I actually got her in person and asked if she wanted to be an aunt again. I am pretty sure hugs were exchanged over the phone, lol, and of course, she's very excited.
And then I got lucky - I called my sister-in-law, and found out that the rest of my siblings: older brother and sister, along with nieces and nephews - were all together. I asked her if she wanted to be an aunt again, and I swear, there was shocked silence and then she was all - "You're on speakerphone, say that again." Which of course, I did - "I was just wondering if you guys would like to be aunts and uncles again?" The excitement came through the phone in screams and congratulations, and it was so much fun, I wish I'd had a camera. My youngest niece came on and told me I didn't have to buy her a birthday present because the cousin-to-be would be enough (her birthday is right around my due date).
I will say, knowing I can call my big sister or sister-in-law and ask them questions about pregnancy and what I will need when the baby comes, and knowing how excited they are is just awesome. Not having my mom around is hard, but since I have them, I know I'll get good advice and answers to questions. Waiting would have been too hard. So the family all knows the good news.
In answer to other questions:
I'm doing well. Yes, I'm nauseous and tired, but I have trouble sleeping at night (weird dreams, restlessness, etc). Nothing set, but it's usually evening sickness and sometimes I just feel queasy all day. I've been fairly lucky though, so far. No vomiting and I can usually head it off with certain foods. I am having cravings (just ask the hubby!) but it's actually kind of nice because they're for healthy things: fruit, smoothies, spinach, cereal and milk. I'm apparently avoiding sugar - including chocolate, except occasionally and coffee and tea both turn my stomach. I'm also completely off caffeine, so no worries about weird developmental problems from that.
Yes, we're going to find out the sex. We don't care either way, we both have a theory (I think it's a boy) and we'll see who's right at 16-20 weeks. The name is a surprise to all - including us, though we have favorites. But no one will know until the birth.
My due date is January 9, but it could be a New Year's baby or even a Christmas baby. Or of course, it could go later, as most of you know. We'll just see. I'm really hoping NOT to go into labor on Christmas eve or Christmas day, though I suppose if I could guarantee that I wouldn't have to buy anyone gifts for this year..... LOL.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
The Tooth Fairy
I just read an article on Yahoo: Finance about how much the tooth fairy should leave for kids. I have to admit - I was kind of appalled. Apparently, teeth are now going for $5 (the first one) and $1-3 for the subsequent ones. Does anyone else think this seems rather high for teeth that will eventually, probably, be thrown away? I mean, you might save the first lost tooth for a keepsake right, but all the other ones?
And isn't a quarter or fifty cents a better price for that? I just keep thinking that if and when I have kids, I don't want to put a $5 bill under a pillow for a tooth! Am I being crazy? Cheap? I just don't see the value in that? I would want my kids to be excited, of course - but can't they save up from all the teeth? Add it to a coin jar? Don't kids still like to dump out and count their coins to see how much they've saved?
So parents (you know, real ones, not like me, a parent-in-mind-only and doting aunt to my ten nieces and nephews (YES I DO include my honorary niece Nora here!) what do you think? Am I being cheap? What do you do about lost teeth, if you've dealt with it? For non-parents, do you have an idea of what you'd do if you're planning on having kids? What's the trend here?
And isn't a quarter or fifty cents a better price for that? I just keep thinking that if and when I have kids, I don't want to put a $5 bill under a pillow for a tooth! Am I being crazy? Cheap? I just don't see the value in that? I would want my kids to be excited, of course - but can't they save up from all the teeth? Add it to a coin jar? Don't kids still like to dump out and count their coins to see how much they've saved?
So parents (you know, real ones, not like me, a parent-in-mind-only and doting aunt to my ten nieces and nephews (YES I DO include my honorary niece Nora here!) what do you think? Am I being cheap? What do you do about lost teeth, if you've dealt with it? For non-parents, do you have an idea of what you'd do if you're planning on having kids? What's the trend here?
Monday, March 21, 2011
Weekend Redux
I just wanted to put Redux in the title. It's such a cool word, you know? What a weekend it was too! Highlights include:
1) Reconnecting with my mom's family, specifically my cousins. How nice was that?! And how weird to think that at the age all of us cousins (kids) are now was the age that our parents were back when we were young and hanging out together, swimming at Uncle Mike's during his yummy barbecues. I'll miss that cooking!!
2) Kite flying - it's just so much fun and makes you feel so young. Plus, kites are pretty.
3) House hunting. Granted, we can't really afford a lot of the houses, but it's just so fun to get an idea of what we like and don't like, even just on the outside.
4) Zoo going. We have a membership so we get to go whenever we want. All we need is some kiddos to really appreciate how much fun feeding the goats can be and how cute baby chimps are (okay, we don't really need kiddos to appreciate that)
5) A new book. We don't normally buy books, but I got a new one to read!
1) Reconnecting with my mom's family, specifically my cousins. How nice was that?! And how weird to think that at the age all of us cousins (kids) are now was the age that our parents were back when we were young and hanging out together, swimming at Uncle Mike's during his yummy barbecues. I'll miss that cooking!!
2) Kite flying - it's just so much fun and makes you feel so young. Plus, kites are pretty.
3) House hunting. Granted, we can't really afford a lot of the houses, but it's just so fun to get an idea of what we like and don't like, even just on the outside.
4) Zoo going. We have a membership so we get to go whenever we want. All we need is some kiddos to really appreciate how much fun feeding the goats can be and how cute baby chimps are (okay, we don't really need kiddos to appreciate that)
5) A new book. We don't normally buy books, but I got a new one to read!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
To Redirect but I'll get to Part II in a minute
Go Wisconsin, right? Apparently, our country is headed in a way that I think a lot of people don't really like. Oh, I'm sure people are truly concerned with deficits, but I find it truly interesting that it's only now that so many are, when we were sliding rather quickly into them with Dubya. Best quote from this article:
"Democrats help conservatives by not shouting out loud, over and over, that it was conservative values that caused the global economic collapse: lack of regulation and a greed-is-good ethic."
http://www.truth-out.org/what-conservatives-really-want67907?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
Read this article. Maybe you'll agree with some of it, all of it, or none of it - but when was it that in our society, greed was good and helping others bad. When was it that a government "of the people, by the people, for the people" suddenly became the enemy? Because see, out government is US - well, it's supposed to be. So when did it become the enemy?
"Democrats help conservatives by not shouting out loud, over and over, that it was conservative values that caused the global economic collapse: lack of regulation and a greed-is-good ethic."
http://www.truth-out.org/what-conservatives-really-want67907?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
Read this article. Maybe you'll agree with some of it, all of it, or none of it - but when was it that in our society, greed was good and helping others bad. When was it that a government "of the people, by the people, for the people" suddenly became the enemy? Because see, out government is US - well, it's supposed to be. So when did it become the enemy?
Monday, February 14, 2011
I found something! Part 1
This particular post is really long, so I'm going to chop it up into, hopefully workable pieces. I was so excited when I found this. It's something I first encountered during a history class, and then re-encountered during a sociology class, and then lost for about six years or so. Now that I've found it, I can't wait to share it. For those who don't want to wait to read the whole thing, feel free to use the link below.
For those unable to wait
www.msu.edu/~jdowell/miner.html
The anthropologist has become so familiar with the diversity of ways in which different people behave in similar situations that he is not apt to be surprised by even the most exotic customs. In fact, if all of the logically possible combinations of behavior have not been found somewhere in the world, he is apt to suspect that they must be present in some yet undescribed tribe. The point has, in fact, been expressed with respect to clan organization by Murdock (1949: 71).[2] In this light, the magical beliefs and practices of the Nacirema present such unusual aspects that it seems desirable to describe them as an example of the extremes to which human behavior can go.
¶ 1
Professor Linton [3] first brought the ritual of the Nacirema to the attention of anthropologists twenty years ago (1936: 326), but the culture of this people is still very poorly understood. They are a North American group living in the territory between the Canadian Cree, the Yaqui and Tarahumare of Mexico, and the Carib and Arawak of the Antilles. Little is known of their origin, although tradition states that they came from the east.... [4] ¶ 2
Nacirema culture is characterized by a highly developed market economy which has evolved in a rich natural habitat. While much of the people's time is devoted to economic pursuits, a large part of the fruits of these labors and a considerable portion of the day are spent in ritual activity. The focus of this activity is the human body, the appearance and health of which loom as a dominant concern in the ethos of the people. While such a concern is certainly not unusual, its ceremonial aspects and associated philosophy are unique. ¶ 3
The fundamental belief underlying the whole system appears to be that the human body is ugly and that its natural tendency is to debility and disease. Incarcerated in such a body, man's only hope is to avert these characteristics through the use of ritual and ceremony. Every household has one or more shrines devoted to this purpose. The more powerful individuals in the society have several shrines in their houses and, in fact, the opulence of a house is often referred to in terms of the number of such ritual centers it possesses. Most houses are of wattle and daub construction, but the shrine rooms of the more wealthy are walled with stone. Poorer families imitate the rich by applying pottery plaques to their shrine walls.
¶ 4
While each family has at least one such shrine, the rituals associated with it are not family ceremonies but are private and secret. The rites are normally only discussed with children, and then only during the period when they are being initiated into these mysteries. I was able, however, to establish sufficient [504 begins ->] rapport with the natives to examine these shrines and to have the rituals described to me. ¶ 5
The focal point of the shrine is a box or chest which is built into the wall. In this chest are kept the many charms and magical potions without which no native believes he could live. These preparations are secured from a variety of specialized practitioners. The most powerful of these are the medicine men, whose assistance must be rewarded with substantial gifts. However, the medicine men do not provide the curative potions for their clients, but decide what the ingredients should be and then write them down in an ancient and secret language. This writing is understood only by the medicine men and by the herbalists who, for another gift, provide the required charm. ¶ 6
The charm is not disposed of after it has served its purpose, but is placed in the charmbox of the household shrine. As these magical materials are specific for certain ills, and the real or imagined maladies of the people are many, the charm-box is usually full to overflowing. The magical packets are so numerous that people forget what their purposes were and fear to use them again. While the natives are very vague on this point, we can only assume that the idea in retaining all the old magical materials is that their presence in the charm-box, before which the body rituals are conducted, will in some way protect the worshiper. ¶ 7
Beneath the charm-box is a small font. Each day every member of the family, in succession, enters the shrine room, bows his head before the charm-box, mingles different sorts of holy water in the font, and proceeds with a brief rite of ablution.[5] The holy waters are secured from the Water Temple of the community, where the priests conduct elaborate ceremonies to make the liquid ritually pure.
For those unable to wait
www.msu.edu/~jdowell/miner.html
The anthropologist has become so familiar with the diversity of ways in which different people behave in similar situations that he is not apt to be surprised by even the most exotic customs. In fact, if all of the logically possible combinations of behavior have not been found somewhere in the world, he is apt to suspect that they must be present in some yet undescribed tribe. The point has, in fact, been expressed with respect to clan organization by Murdock (1949: 71).[2] In this light, the magical beliefs and practices of the Nacirema present such unusual aspects that it seems desirable to describe them as an example of the extremes to which human behavior can go.
¶ 1
Professor Linton [3] first brought the ritual of the Nacirema to the attention of anthropologists twenty years ago (1936: 326), but the culture of this people is still very poorly understood. They are a North American group living in the territory between the Canadian Cree, the Yaqui and Tarahumare of Mexico, and the Carib and Arawak of the Antilles. Little is known of their origin, although tradition states that they came from the east.... [4] ¶ 2
Nacirema culture is characterized by a highly developed market economy which has evolved in a rich natural habitat. While much of the people's time is devoted to economic pursuits, a large part of the fruits of these labors and a considerable portion of the day are spent in ritual activity. The focus of this activity is the human body, the appearance and health of which loom as a dominant concern in the ethos of the people. While such a concern is certainly not unusual, its ceremonial aspects and associated philosophy are unique. ¶ 3
The fundamental belief underlying the whole system appears to be that the human body is ugly and that its natural tendency is to debility and disease. Incarcerated in such a body, man's only hope is to avert these characteristics through the use of ritual and ceremony. Every household has one or more shrines devoted to this purpose. The more powerful individuals in the society have several shrines in their houses and, in fact, the opulence of a house is often referred to in terms of the number of such ritual centers it possesses. Most houses are of wattle and daub construction, but the shrine rooms of the more wealthy are walled with stone. Poorer families imitate the rich by applying pottery plaques to their shrine walls.
¶ 4
While each family has at least one such shrine, the rituals associated with it are not family ceremonies but are private and secret. The rites are normally only discussed with children, and then only during the period when they are being initiated into these mysteries. I was able, however, to establish sufficient [504 begins ->] rapport with the natives to examine these shrines and to have the rituals described to me. ¶ 5
The focal point of the shrine is a box or chest which is built into the wall. In this chest are kept the many charms and magical potions without which no native believes he could live. These preparations are secured from a variety of specialized practitioners. The most powerful of these are the medicine men, whose assistance must be rewarded with substantial gifts. However, the medicine men do not provide the curative potions for their clients, but decide what the ingredients should be and then write them down in an ancient and secret language. This writing is understood only by the medicine men and by the herbalists who, for another gift, provide the required charm. ¶ 6
The charm is not disposed of after it has served its purpose, but is placed in the charmbox of the household shrine. As these magical materials are specific for certain ills, and the real or imagined maladies of the people are many, the charm-box is usually full to overflowing. The magical packets are so numerous that people forget what their purposes were and fear to use them again. While the natives are very vague on this point, we can only assume that the idea in retaining all the old magical materials is that their presence in the charm-box, before which the body rituals are conducted, will in some way protect the worshiper. ¶ 7
Beneath the charm-box is a small font. Each day every member of the family, in succession, enters the shrine room, bows his head before the charm-box, mingles different sorts of holy water in the font, and proceeds with a brief rite of ablution.[5] The holy waters are secured from the Water Temple of the community, where the priests conduct elaborate ceremonies to make the liquid ritually pure.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Targeting Maps
So there's been a major uproar about the use of targeting symbols on maps since the shooting. Understandable, and let's all thank goodness that we're at least having a discussion about violent rhetoric and violent behavior and if there is a connection. I guess the murder of Dr. Tiller wasn't violent enough for it, although many of my progressive friends have been talking about this connection ever since then.
But I digress.
Now, the conservatives are screaming in anger because Sarah Palin had a target map on her website and people are rightly, having said discussion. Why a discussion is so painful for them remains a mystery - I realize the press isn't the greatest entity for a thoughtful, interesting, nuanced conversation - but at least it has started one! They're saying that the Democrats do it too and that means they're just as violent and just as much to blame. I'll agree that both parties have wildly sunk to horrible levels of rhetoric.
But let's compare these targeting maps shall we?
Shall we start with the fact that only one has specific congressional districts?
Or maybe with the fact that only one has NAMES that are targeted, ie, people?
Perhaps we can talk about the context - how to win back states lost in the 2004 Bush election vs. how to get rid of Congresspersons who are Democrats and voted for the health care bill.
Which one is more specific? Which one is more disturbing? Which one invokes violence against a specific person and which one targets a state that needs to be won in an election (ie, anonymous voters) Does it even matter - probably not, since the discussion will, hopefully, turn to how violent rhetoric and symbols' use affect political discourse in the country. Which is a good thing.
Saturday, November 06, 2010
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
Kansas
Well, we've moved back to KS, as N. got a job at WSU. Yay him!
N. and I have sort of settled in now: he's started his job, I've started school, so I can finish my second master's degree...we've been here about a month and so far, so good.
I'm still hoping to find a library job, but I might have to start school again and get my teaching license. I am thinking of being a substitute teacher while I do that, to get some experience, learn my way around the different schools, meet people, etc. But right now I'm focusing on school and re-learning Wichita. The traffic really sucks here, and I kind of despise having to drive everywhere...but I do really love being close to my family and my friends - I even got to have a sort of impromptu dinner with Kay which was great! I now have someone to call and hang out with, which is so wonderful!
A Regan family reunion is being planned for next July which is immensely exciting, and too far away - and my sister might even be getting married there so that my grandma can be there, since she doesn't travel much anymore. Anyway, life is sort of boring for now, and we're settling in, as are the kitties (poor things!). Just a quick update, cause I got tired of looking at my old blog post.
N. and I have sort of settled in now: he's started his job, I've started school, so I can finish my second master's degree...we've been here about a month and so far, so good.
I'm still hoping to find a library job, but I might have to start school again and get my teaching license. I am thinking of being a substitute teacher while I do that, to get some experience, learn my way around the different schools, meet people, etc. But right now I'm focusing on school and re-learning Wichita. The traffic really sucks here, and I kind of despise having to drive everywhere...but I do really love being close to my family and my friends - I even got to have a sort of impromptu dinner with Kay which was great! I now have someone to call and hang out with, which is so wonderful!
A Regan family reunion is being planned for next July which is immensely exciting, and too far away - and my sister might even be getting married there so that my grandma can be there, since she doesn't travel much anymore. Anyway, life is sort of boring for now, and we're settling in, as are the kitties (poor things!). Just a quick update, cause I got tired of looking at my old blog post.
Monday, August 02, 2010
Stuff I'm Reading/Browsing
Browsing/Blogging/Reading
News
Blogs
Shopping
Books I'm Reading (Yes, all at the same time...geez!)
Don't Think of An Elephant: George Lakoff
Every rendition of Stone Soup I can find (for the storytime I'm doing)
The Little Lady Agency: Hester Brown (I just love British humorous chick-lit books!)
Parenting Beyond Belief: Dale McGowan
Why You Can Disagree and Still Be a Faithful Catholic: Philip Kaufman (since I don't buy the whole - you can't be a good Catholic if you *insert your chosen position* crap)
And I've re-read this article from Sam Harris about a dozen times:
Bringing the Vatican to Justice
I confess that, as a critic of religion, I have paid too little attention to the sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic Church. Frankly, it always felt unsportsmanlike to shoot so large and languorous a fish in so tiny a barrel. This scandal was one of the most spectacular "own goals" in the history of religion, and there seemed to be no need to deride faith at its most vulnerable and self-abased. Even in retrospect, it is easy to understand the impulse to avert one's eyes: Just imagine a pious mother and father sending their beloved child to the Church of a Thousand Hands for spiritual instruction, only to have him raped and terrified into silence by threats of hell. And then imagine this occurring to tens of thousands of children in our own time -- and to children beyond reckoning for over a thousand years. The spectacle of faith so utterly misplaced, and so fully betrayed, is simply too depressing to think about.
But there was always more to this phenomenon that should have compelled my attention. Consider the ludicrous ideology that made it possible: The Catholic Church has spent two millennia demonizing human sexuality to a degree unmatched by any other institution, declaring the most basic, healthy, mature, and consensual behaviors taboo. Indeed, this organization still opposes the use of contraception, preferring, instead, that the poorest people on earth be blessed with the largest families and the shortest lives. As a consequence of this hallowed and incorrigible stupidity, the Church has condemned generations of decent people to shame and hypocrisy -- or to Neolithic fecundity, poverty, and death by AIDS. Add to this inhumanity the artifice of cloistered celibacy, and you now have an institution -- one of the wealthiest on earth -- that preferentially attracts pederasts, pedophiles, and sexual sadists into its ranks, promotes them to positions of authority, and grants them privileged access to children. Finally, consider that vast numbers of children will be born out of wedlock, and their unwed mothers vilified, wherever Church teaching holds sway -- leading boys and girls by the thousands to be abandoned to Church-run orphanages only to be raped and terrorized by the clergy. Here, in this ghoulish machinery set to whirling through the ages by the opposing winds of shame and sadism, we mortals can finally glimpse how strangely perfect are the ways of the Lord.
In 2009, The Irish Commission to Inquire into Child Abuse (CICA) investigated such of these events as occurred on Irish soil. Their report runs to 2,600 pages. Having read only an oppressive fraction of this document, I can say that when thinking about the ecclesiastical abuse of children, it is best not to imagine shades of ancient Athens and the blandishments of a "love that dare not speak its name." Yes, there have surely been polite pederasts in the priesthood, expressing anguished affection for boys who would turn 18 the next morning. But behind these indiscretions there is a continuum of abuse that terminates in utter evil. The scandal in the Catholic Church -- one might now safely say the scandal that is the Catholic Church -- includes the systematic rape and torture of orphaned and disabled children. Its victims attest to being whipped with belts and sodomized until bloody -- sometimes by multiple attackers -- and then whipped again and threatened with death and hell fire if they breathed a word about their abuse. And yes, many of the children who were desperate or courageous enough to report these crimes were accused of lying and returned to their tormentors to be raped and tortured again.
The evidence suggests that the misery of these children was facilitated and concealed by the hierarchy of the Catholic Church at every level, up to and including the prefrontal cortex of the current Pope. In his former capacity as Cardinal Ratzinger, Pope Benedict personally oversaw the Vatican's response to reports of sexual abuse in the Church. What did this wise and compassionate man do upon learning that his employees were raping children by the thousands? Did he immediately alert the police and ensure that the victims would be protected from further torments? One still dares to imagine such an effulgence of basic human sanity might have been possible, even within the Church. On the contrary, repeated and increasingly desperate complaints of abuse were set aside, witnesses were pressured into silence, bishops were praised for their defiance of secular authority, and offending priests were relocated only to destroy fresh lives in unsuspecting parishes. It is no exaggeration to say that for decades (if not centuries) the Vatican has met the formal definition of a criminal organization, devoted not to gambling, prostitution, drugs, or any other venial sin, but to the sexual enslavement of children.
Consider the following passages from the CICA report:
7.129 In relation to one School, four witnesses gave detailed accounts of sexual abuse, including rape in all instances, by two or more Brothers and on one occasion along with an older resident. A witness from the second School, from which there were several reports, described being raped by three Brothers: 'I was brought to the infirmary...they held me over the bed, they were animals....They penetrated me, I was bleeding'. Another witness reported he was abused twice weekly on particular days by two Brothers in the toilets off the dormitory:
One Brother kept watch while the other abused me ...(sexually)... then they changed over. Every time it ended with a severe beating. When I told the priest in Confession, he called me a liar. I never spoke about it again.
I would have to go into his ...(Br X's)... room every time he wanted. You'd get a hiding if you didn't, and he'd make me do it ...(masturbate)... to him. One night I didn't ...(masturbate him)... and there was another Brother there who held me down and they hit me with a hurley and they burst my fingers ...displayed scar....
...
7.232 Witnesses reported being particularly fearful at night as they listened to residents screaming in cloakrooms, dormitories or in a staff member's bedroom while they were being abused. Witnesses were conscious that co-residents whom they described as orphans had a particularly difficult time:
The orphan children, they had it bad. I knew ...(who they were)... by the size of them, I'd ask them and they'd say they come from ...named institution.... They were there from an early age. You'd hear the screams from the room where Br ...X... would be abusing them.
There was one night, I wasn't long there and I seen one of the Brothers on the bed with one of the young boys ... and I heard the young lad screaming crying and Br ...X... said to me "if you don't mind your own business you'll get the same". ... I heard kids screaming and you know they are getting abused and that's a nightmare in anybody's mind. You are going to try and break out. ... So there was no way I was going to let that happen to me.... I remember one boy and he was bleeding from the back passage and I made up my mind, there was no way it ...(anal rape)... was going to happen to me. ... That used to play on my mind.
This is the kind of abuse that the Church has practiced and concealed since time out of memory. Even the CICA report declined to name the offending priests due to pressure from the Vatican. The cover-up of these atrocities continues.
I have been awakened from my unconscionable slumber on this issue by recent press reports (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, & 6) and especially by the eloquence of my colleagues Christopher Hitchens (1, 2, 3, 4, & 5) and Richard Dawkins (1 & 2). Both have begun a public effort to make the Pope accountable for the Church's complicity in these crimes. Here, I would like to announce that Project Reason, the foundation that my wife and I started to spread scientific thinking and secular values, has joined Hitchens and Dawkins (both of whom sit on our advisory board) in an effort to end the "diplomatic immunity" which the Vatican claims protects the Pope from any responsibility. We would greatly appreciate your support in this cause. All donations are tax-deductible in the United States.
News
Blogs
Shopping
Books I'm Reading (Yes, all at the same time...geez!)
Don't Think of An Elephant: George Lakoff
Every rendition of Stone Soup I can find (for the storytime I'm doing)
The Little Lady Agency: Hester Brown (I just love British humorous chick-lit books!)
Parenting Beyond Belief: Dale McGowan
Why You Can Disagree and Still Be a Faithful Catholic: Philip Kaufman (since I don't buy the whole - you can't be a good Catholic if you *insert your chosen position* crap)
And I've re-read this article from Sam Harris about a dozen times:
Bringing the Vatican to Justice
I confess that, as a critic of religion, I have paid too little attention to the sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic Church. Frankly, it always felt unsportsmanlike to shoot so large and languorous a fish in so tiny a barrel. This scandal was one of the most spectacular "own goals" in the history of religion, and there seemed to be no need to deride faith at its most vulnerable and self-abased. Even in retrospect, it is easy to understand the impulse to avert one's eyes: Just imagine a pious mother and father sending their beloved child to the Church of a Thousand Hands for spiritual instruction, only to have him raped and terrified into silence by threats of hell. And then imagine this occurring to tens of thousands of children in our own time -- and to children beyond reckoning for over a thousand years. The spectacle of faith so utterly misplaced, and so fully betrayed, is simply too depressing to think about.
But there was always more to this phenomenon that should have compelled my attention. Consider the ludicrous ideology that made it possible: The Catholic Church has spent two millennia demonizing human sexuality to a degree unmatched by any other institution, declaring the most basic, healthy, mature, and consensual behaviors taboo. Indeed, this organization still opposes the use of contraception, preferring, instead, that the poorest people on earth be blessed with the largest families and the shortest lives. As a consequence of this hallowed and incorrigible stupidity, the Church has condemned generations of decent people to shame and hypocrisy -- or to Neolithic fecundity, poverty, and death by AIDS. Add to this inhumanity the artifice of cloistered celibacy, and you now have an institution -- one of the wealthiest on earth -- that preferentially attracts pederasts, pedophiles, and sexual sadists into its ranks, promotes them to positions of authority, and grants them privileged access to children. Finally, consider that vast numbers of children will be born out of wedlock, and their unwed mothers vilified, wherever Church teaching holds sway -- leading boys and girls by the thousands to be abandoned to Church-run orphanages only to be raped and terrorized by the clergy. Here, in this ghoulish machinery set to whirling through the ages by the opposing winds of shame and sadism, we mortals can finally glimpse how strangely perfect are the ways of the Lord.
In 2009, The Irish Commission to Inquire into Child Abuse (CICA) investigated such of these events as occurred on Irish soil. Their report runs to 2,600 pages. Having read only an oppressive fraction of this document, I can say that when thinking about the ecclesiastical abuse of children, it is best not to imagine shades of ancient Athens and the blandishments of a "love that dare not speak its name." Yes, there have surely been polite pederasts in the priesthood, expressing anguished affection for boys who would turn 18 the next morning. But behind these indiscretions there is a continuum of abuse that terminates in utter evil. The scandal in the Catholic Church -- one might now safely say the scandal that is the Catholic Church -- includes the systematic rape and torture of orphaned and disabled children. Its victims attest to being whipped with belts and sodomized until bloody -- sometimes by multiple attackers -- and then whipped again and threatened with death and hell fire if they breathed a word about their abuse. And yes, many of the children who were desperate or courageous enough to report these crimes were accused of lying and returned to their tormentors to be raped and tortured again.
The evidence suggests that the misery of these children was facilitated and concealed by the hierarchy of the Catholic Church at every level, up to and including the prefrontal cortex of the current Pope. In his former capacity as Cardinal Ratzinger, Pope Benedict personally oversaw the Vatican's response to reports of sexual abuse in the Church. What did this wise and compassionate man do upon learning that his employees were raping children by the thousands? Did he immediately alert the police and ensure that the victims would be protected from further torments? One still dares to imagine such an effulgence of basic human sanity might have been possible, even within the Church. On the contrary, repeated and increasingly desperate complaints of abuse were set aside, witnesses were pressured into silence, bishops were praised for their defiance of secular authority, and offending priests were relocated only to destroy fresh lives in unsuspecting parishes. It is no exaggeration to say that for decades (if not centuries) the Vatican has met the formal definition of a criminal organization, devoted not to gambling, prostitution, drugs, or any other venial sin, but to the sexual enslavement of children.
Consider the following passages from the CICA report:
7.129 In relation to one School, four witnesses gave detailed accounts of sexual abuse, including rape in all instances, by two or more Brothers and on one occasion along with an older resident. A witness from the second School, from which there were several reports, described being raped by three Brothers: 'I was brought to the infirmary...they held me over the bed, they were animals....They penetrated me, I was bleeding'. Another witness reported he was abused twice weekly on particular days by two Brothers in the toilets off the dormitory:
One Brother kept watch while the other abused me ...(sexually)... then they changed over. Every time it ended with a severe beating. When I told the priest in Confession, he called me a liar. I never spoke about it again.
I would have to go into his ...(Br X's)... room every time he wanted. You'd get a hiding if you didn't, and he'd make me do it ...(masturbate)... to him. One night I didn't ...(masturbate him)... and there was another Brother there who held me down and they hit me with a hurley and they burst my fingers ...displayed scar....
...
7.232 Witnesses reported being particularly fearful at night as they listened to residents screaming in cloakrooms, dormitories or in a staff member's bedroom while they were being abused. Witnesses were conscious that co-residents whom they described as orphans had a particularly difficult time:
The orphan children, they had it bad. I knew ...(who they were)... by the size of them, I'd ask them and they'd say they come from ...named institution.... They were there from an early age. You'd hear the screams from the room where Br ...X... would be abusing them.
There was one night, I wasn't long there and I seen one of the Brothers on the bed with one of the young boys ... and I heard the young lad screaming crying and Br ...X... said to me "if you don't mind your own business you'll get the same". ... I heard kids screaming and you know they are getting abused and that's a nightmare in anybody's mind. You are going to try and break out. ... So there was no way I was going to let that happen to me.... I remember one boy and he was bleeding from the back passage and I made up my mind, there was no way it ...(anal rape)... was going to happen to me. ... That used to play on my mind.
This is the kind of abuse that the Church has practiced and concealed since time out of memory. Even the CICA report declined to name the offending priests due to pressure from the Vatican. The cover-up of these atrocities continues.
I have been awakened from my unconscionable slumber on this issue by recent press reports (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, & 6) and especially by the eloquence of my colleagues Christopher Hitchens (1, 2, 3, 4, & 5) and Richard Dawkins (1 & 2). Both have begun a public effort to make the Pope accountable for the Church's complicity in these crimes. Here, I would like to announce that Project Reason, the foundation that my wife and I started to spread scientific thinking and secular values, has joined Hitchens and Dawkins (both of whom sit on our advisory board) in an effort to end the "diplomatic immunity" which the Vatican claims protects the Pope from any responsibility. We would greatly appreciate your support in this cause. All donations are tax-deductible in the United States.
Friday, July 09, 2010
My Blog: How I Miss Thee
Well, my first post of June was actually my only post of June. I apologize to any loyal readers, still waiting for updated posts- I know how you feel when you get here and there's nothing new!
Today, I actually went shopping for myself. I managed to get new running shoes, and a new outfit, and even some fun new bath products. It perked up my spirits quite a bit - I got turned down for a great job this week. This economy really sucks - there's just not a lot of opportunities for full-time librarian jobs. I'm considering becoming a school librarian - I just have to get my license to teach, which means going back to school for a year or more. I am slightly reluctant about the school thing: I've been enjoying being done with classes and papers and grades. But oh well; it's not like I don't enjoy school.
Non sequitur: My husband is the best ever. I don't even need examples - but he is, you just have to trust me on this.
Today, I actually went shopping for myself. I managed to get new running shoes, and a new outfit, and even some fun new bath products. It perked up my spirits quite a bit - I got turned down for a great job this week. This economy really sucks - there's just not a lot of opportunities for full-time librarian jobs. I'm considering becoming a school librarian - I just have to get my license to teach, which means going back to school for a year or more. I am slightly reluctant about the school thing: I've been enjoying being done with classes and papers and grades. But oh well; it's not like I don't enjoy school.
Non sequitur: My husband is the best ever. I don't even need examples - but he is, you just have to trust me on this.
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